April 11, 2017

Jimmy Kimmel is winning applause for his takedown of United Airlines last night.

Kimmel slammed the airline's president for tweeting this: 'This is an upsetting event to all of us here at United. I apologize for having to re-accommodate these customers.'

"That is such sanitized, say nothing, take no responsibility, corporate BS speak." said Kimmel, who asked if maybe we "re-accommodated el Chapo out of Mexico."

But even Kimmel admits the airlines have customers right where they want us:

"The next time we book a flight, it doesn’t matter if it’s United or Delta or American. If one of those flights is a dollar less than the other one, that’s the one we’ll pick. They know this. That’s why we’re stuck with them. Our only other choice is the bus, so...”

And he launched into a great fake ad for United Airlines, in which a flight attendant calmly and sweetly says:

"We’re United Airlines. You do what we say when we say, and there won’t be a problem. If we say you fly, you fly. If not, tough sh*t. Give us a problem, and we’ll drag your ass off the plane. And if you do this, we’ll beat you so badly you’ll be using your own face as a flotation device. United Airlines: f*ck you.”

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