Donald Trump sat down with Lester Holt for a nice long rehabilitative interview after he exposed how deeply corrupt he is by firing James Comey.
Trump would like you to know that he really did have those conversations with Jim Comey, the man he called a 'showboat,' and that Mr. Showboat Director did reassure him that he was not under investigation even as he was begging Hair Trump to hold onto his job.
And if you believe that, I've got a bridge to nowhere to sell you.
Let's go snippet by snippet. First, Trump made liars out of Mike Pence and Sarah Huckabee Sanders by telling Holt his mind was already made up, that he was going to fire Comey no matter what anybody said.
HOLT: Monday you met with the deputy attorney general Rod Rosenstein.
HOLT: Did you ask for a recommendation?
TRUMP: What I did is I was going to fire Comey. My decision. It was not --
HOLT: You made the decision before they came in the room?
TRUMP: I was going to fire Comey. There's no good time to do it, by the way. They -- because in your letter you said I have accepted recommendations. You had already made the decision?
I was going to fire regardless of recommendation. He made a recommendation. He's highly respected. Very good guy. Very smart guy. The Democrats like him. The Republicans like him. He made a recommendation. But regardless of recommendation, I was going to fire Comey.
Now the L'Orange would like you to imagine that he was going to fire Comey but he asked for those recommendations to waste some taxpayer money on things that didn't matter because he was already going to fire Comey.
Next, let's talk about Trump's dinner with Comey. The one where Comey begged to keep a job he was guaranteed to have for a 10-year term barring some sort of misconduct of which there was none. Just Trump wanting to be a grandstanding fool.
HOLT: Let me ask you about your termination letter to Mr. Comey. You write, I greatly appreciate you informing me on three separate occasions that I am not under investigation. Why did you put that in there?
TRUMP: Because he told me that. I mean he told me that.
HOLT: He told you you weren't under investigation. I've heard that from others? Was it in a phone call or did you meet face to face?
TRUMP: I had dinner with him. He wanted to have dinner because he wanted to stay on.
HOLT: He asked for the dinner?
TRUMP: Dinner was arranged. I think he asked for the dinner. And he wanted to stay on as the FBI head. And I said I'll consider it. We'll see what happens. But we had a very nice dinner. And at that time he told me you are not under investigation.
I would like everyone to imagine the Jim Comey we've seen in hearings - Mr. "Lordy, this has been tough!" Comey - begging that orange fool for his job. (It's been rumored that Comey thinks Trump is a little loco, but that's just rumor)
Next, we have Trump appearing to confuse civil legal proceedings with criminal ones.
TRUMP: That was -- which I knew anyway.
First of all when you're under investigation you're given all sorts of documents and everything. I knew I wasn't under. I heard it was stated at the committee at some committee level that it wasn't.
HOLT: That didn't come from him?
And we're back to Comey rubbing Trumpy's neck and telling him in soothing tones that no, no, no, he is not personally under investigation.
TRUMP: During the phone call and another phone call he said it. He said it once at dinner and then said it twice during phone calls.
HOLT: Did you call him?
TRUMP: In one case I called him and one case he called me.
HOLT: Did you ask him am I under investigation?
TRUMP: I asked him, yes. I said if it's possible will you let me know, am I under investigation. He said you are not under investigation.
HOLT: But he's given sworn testimony that there is an ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign and possible collusion with the Russian government. You -- right.
TRUMP: Were the centerpiece of the Trump campaign. Was he being truthful -- I know I'm not under investigation. I'm not talking about campaigns or anything else. I'm not under investigation.
You can almost hear him stomping his tiny little hoofies when he said that last part, can't you?
These stories are utter spin. They're invention. There is no way on God's green earth that James Comey went to Donald Trump with his hat in hand, denying any investigation was underway.
Trump needs a mental health evaluation. Right now.