September 26, 2017

Jimmy Kimmel gives a recap of the likely death of Graham-Cassidy and said he was happy to go back to talking about the Kardashians.

He also thanked Senator Susan Collins from Maine (noting her state is full of killer clowns in the sewers) for announcing her decision to vote against the bill, which means it’s “almost certainly dead.”

“Or at the very least it’s on life support, which isn’t covered."

Kimmel came clean: It was all part of a nefarious plan.

"Here’s what happened: My wife and I were worried about health care. We didn’t like what the Republicans were doing, so we decided to have a baby with congenital heart defects. And then once we had that going for us, I went on TV, I spoke out and we may have stopped Cassidy-Graham. I still can’t believe we pulled it off, but we did. It’s amazing, isn’t it?” he said.

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