Y’all, Donald Trump is coming to Texas to campaign for Ted Cruz.
On September 29th, Willie Nelson is giving a free concert with Beto in Austin.
Willie says —
“My wife Annie and I have met and spoken with Beto and we share his concern for the direction things are headed,” Nelson said in a statement. “Beto embodies what is special about Texas, an energy and an integrity that is completely genuine.”
Let me point out something else. Ted Cruz said that Beto was bringing California to Texas “with tofu, dyed hair, and silicon.”
Uh Ted, your wife is a vegetarian. That means she probably eats tofu. Also, Ted, do you know what tofu is made of? Soybeans. Do you know what state produces the most soybeans? Yep, Texas.
Dyed hair? Ted, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Where’d the gray go, Ted?
Silicon? Honey, you outlaw silicon and Fox News would have to shut down.
So, we’re left with Ted Cruz bringing New York City to Texas, and the craziest guy in the whole damn city.
By the way, Trump said he’d fill the “biggest stadium in Texas” for a Ted Cruz rally. Texas A&M’s Kyle Field seats 102,733 people. Honey, don’t be throwing around words like “biggest” in Texas. We take that very personally.
Originally published at JuanitaJean.com