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Pathetic Arizona Manbabies Cosplay Gomer Pyle At Elementary School

An Arizona dad and two of his thug friends threaten his kid's elementary school principal with zip ties and a "citizen's arrest" for enforcing the district's COVID quarantine protocols. He gets arrested. Eventually.
Pathetic Arizona Manbabies Cosplay Gomer Pyle At Elementary School
Image from: Instagram Screenshot

An Arizona dad and two of his thug friends threatened his kid's elementary school principal with zip ties and a "citizen's arrest" for enforcing the district's COVID quarantine protocols. He's been arrested.

Now, I could write a normal article, citing The Washington Post and Daily Beast, outlining the absurd and outrageous details of this dangerous nonsense. Frankly, these three don't deserve the national attention or my resultant rise in blood pressure. Instead, I shall vent my spleen, and open a good, old-fashioned can of Brooklyn whoop-ass on them, as god and my DNA intended.

They deserve to be dismissed and jailed like the vermin they are. (No shade to vermin.)

They're about as pathetic and awful as you imagine. One of the idiots runs a coffee-shop, and is so fragile that he blocked me when I asked on the shop's Facebook page if their muffins came with a side of flex-cuffs.

Sadly, I can no longer comment on this page. But YOU can! Image from: Facebook Screenshot

They're so pathetic the aggrieved dad brought along his elementary school son to WATCH as they threatened the principal with zip-ties. They're so pathetic they called the cops to arrest the principal, and the cops told them to f*ck all the way off. They're so pathetic that when the principal told them to leave because she is a badass, and they didn't, she simply walked right past these three moops, into the outer office, and called the police on THEM. They're so pathetic, that they left before the police, whom THEY'D called to arrest the principal, mind you, got there to arrest THEM.

Logic would dictate they'd be eager to plead their story to the cops — these knuckle-dragging, d*ck-swinging, twatwaffles who'd called the cops to arrest the principal — for enforcing COVID PROTOCOLS by having a student quarantine. If they were so convinced they were in the right, and that she was breaking the law by telling the kid to stay home when he was a close contact to someone who'd tested positive for a deadly contagious disease, why leave before the police arrive? Please explain this to me, Chad.

Whether it's testosterone-deficiency fueling their over-compensating dangerous bullshlt, or they've fallen victim to the Trump cult, or their mommies didn't hug them enough, or whatever the damn reason, these f*ckwits present a conundrum. Should we report it? Should we write about it?

On the one hand, they're dangerous as f*ck, because they own guns and live in states that have laws allowing them to carry them (and zip ties) wherever the hell they want. Furthermore, anytime someone threatens an educator for doing their job, it should be broadcast, so that it can be viewed with the proper outrage that it is.

On the other hand, by reporting it, we are giving them what they need, in a sick sense, which is oxygen to thrive and multiply. We are also contributing to the numbing of the very outrage we seek towards that behavior. The more commonplace it becomes, the more likely good people are to shrug, and the more enabled are the dangerous people.

I do not have a real answer to that conundrum. I have only this.

My great-grandparents survived pogroms. I come from Brooklyn, NY. I come from generations of educators. My grandmother on one side was 4'9", and became a lawyer in the 1940s. My grandfather on the other side owned a cafeteria across the street from Yankee Stadium. He literally stared down mafiosa who tried to bully him into doing business with them until they left. My father stood up at a family seder with 40 people to read his portion of the Exodus story, and compared God to a literal TERRORIST for ordering the slaying of Egyptian babies. In elementary school, while walking home one day, my older sister literally threw down her books, ran into a pack of boys who'd been following us home and teasing us for months, and beat the sh*t out of one of them — I mean, his mom called my mom to complain what my sister had done to her baby boy. I am a Mets fan AND an Orioles fan, for Christ's sake.

I do not come from weak stock. I used to teach 8th grade. On purpose, do you understand? 8th. Graders.

Just let these limp, whiny-ass, pathetic, pieces of dog-sh*t parents try to set foot in my school with zip ties because little Johnny couldn't go on a field trip. Just let them. I wish a goddamned Trump-loving seditious mother-f*cker would.

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