December 12, 2021

There are days when I love my job, and there are days when I L.O.V.E. my job.

Consider today one of the latter. I mean, in what other profession can I legitimately combine the words Madonna, Nancy Reagan, Ben Shapiro's sister, slut-shaming, and blowjob queen in the same sentence, and get paid for it?

Allow me to back up. I'll start with my colleague, Red Painter's tweet from yesterday.

No. No, you really don't. But if you do, keep reading, because I've already given you a bit of a preview.

Ben Shapiro β€” who has publicly stated his wife suffers from dry vagina syndrome, and who can blame her β€” apparently has a clout-chasing sister who could use some vaginal stimulation herself, probably. I surmise this from the topic of the tweet that set the bird

As someone who is completely heaux-positive, I applaud the cum-uppance she received. "Classically" Abby was pounded for being such an uptight judgmental blowhard, and things took a turn when people began pointing out Nancy's proclivity for tonsil teasing in her Hollywood youth.

Here's the only difference between Madonna and Nancy that truly matters, and reflects who is the one people should emulate:

But because it's Sunday, and for so many hypocrites, allegedly the LAWD'S day, let's just focus on the knob gobbling.

Listen. I could go on forever, but I get paid by the hour, and we're running a fundraiser because this site needs the monies, and it just seems wrong to keep enjoying myself like this, so I'll just leave you with this final one.

You get the jizzt.

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