June 16, 2024

Donald Trump hosted a Turning Point USA rally in Detroit, Michigan, where he sounded (I know this will surprise you) like an absolute nutcase. The former reality TV show star turned President turned convicted felon spun tales of a world collapsing with President Joe Biden at the helm. He told of inflation (inflation is way down, by the way), and "China is on the march." Oh, scary! I'm afraid, and I need a hug. Any volunteers? Nope, I thought not.

The Twice Impeached One said he thinks Biden should take a mental acuity test, then explained that Texas Rep. Drunky McDrunkerson said he was the healthiest President he'd seen in eleventy bazillion years. If you've ever wondered if there's anything worse than Donald J. Trump, Rep. Ronny Jackson proved it's his followers.

"Doc Ronny Johnson," Lumpy said while confusing the Texas Republican with who the fuck knows. "Does anyone know Ronny Johnson?"

Note: No, you stupid fuck, because that's not Ronny Jackson's name.

"He was the White House doctor, and he said I was the healthiest president he feels in history, so I liked him very much immediately," Lumpy added.

Sure, Drunky is totally credible, especially when he said, “I told the President that if he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years, he might live to be 200 years old."

Sure thing, buddy. When writing about this fool, I always try to put in this tidbit of information:

The Department of Defense inspector general issued a scathing review of Jackson during his time serving as Trump’s White House physician, "concluding that he made "sexual and denigrating" comments about a female subordinate, violated the policy for drinking alcohol while on a presidential trip, and took prescription-strength sleeping medication that prompted concerns from his colleagues about his ability to provide proper care."

Trump could have called Jackson Candyman, and we would all know who he was talking about. It's perfect that after Jackson's slavish devotion to Trump that the former President doesn't even know that quack's fucking name.

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