Pentagon Pete Is Looking For Extra Pretty Troops To Attend His Speech And Workout

According to emails, the Defense Secretary is seeking fit, impeccably groomed service members to accompany him to his upcoming speech.
Pentagon Pete Is Looking For Extra Pretty Troops To Attend His Speech And Workout
Credit: Gage Skidmore/Flickr, under Creative Commons License 2.0
By Andrea Thompson — September 17, 2026

According to emails obtained and reviewed by the Wall Street Journal, that make my skin crawl, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is on the hunt for super fit, physically attractive, impeccably groomed members of the United States military to attend his upcoming "State of the Force" address and potentially even join him for one of his trademarked workours.

The embattled head of the US Department of Defense is slated to deliver remarks on September 30, and the Journal has confirmed that Hegseth wants an accompaniment of a very specific type of soldier.

In one email sent to Army commanders this week, it noted that potential attendees must not only pass the Army fitness test but also meet the waist-to-height ratio Hegseth implemented himself, which took effect at the beginning of this year. In addition to body requirements, the email also demanded that all potential attendees maintain "impeccable grooming and uniform standards (no exceptions)." According to officials who spoke with the publication, the Army was not the only branch of the military to receive these implicit instructions.

The emails make it abundantly clear that the Pentagon is seeking out candidates who are "consistently rated as top performers within their formations” and have a “clear record of integrity, discipline and selfless service."

Anyone selected for attendance should "demonstrate strong presence, clear communication and sound judgment under pressure" and "serve as role models for their peers and subordinates."

Attendees will be chosen based upon "demonstrated leadership quality and professional character" and will have the chance to participate in a workout with Hegseth.

The Defense Secretary's impending speech comes one year after his infamous summoning of the US military's top generals and admirals to Marine Corps Base Quantico, where he lectured them on "warrior ethos" and announced his obsession with the physical appearance of service members, declaring "no more beardos" or "fat generals."

Honestly, the jokes could write themselves at this point.

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