March 24, 2010

Glenn Beck long ago went around the bend and over the cliff rhetorically. Indeed, he has gone around several bends in the past year. So it was no big surprise that his big defeat with the passage of health-care reform sent him at warp speed round yet another.

This time, it seems he went around the penultimate bend: At the end of two days' worth of ranting, he evidently concluded that the Obama administration and the cadre of evil "progressives" in government are intentionally taking up immigration reform in the wake of the health-care vote because they hope to provoke an armed insurrection.

That's not quite justifying armed revolution, but it sure is nuzzling right up next to it by giving it an excuse.

This conclusion was one he built up over two days, beginning Monday with the usual deprecations about the motives of the people who supported health-care reform:

"You always thought the bad guys always lost in the end."

"All of the pressure and the bribes went to the dirty congressmen on the left, on the Democrats."

"They [Democrats] have finally been toppled, forced to submit."

"They sold their souls for this vote."

"Well, what they've become is ruthless, amoral, ends-justify-the-means, Saul Alinskyites who will do anything, including eat their own to get what they want."

Oh, and lest anyone forget: Michael Moore is fat.

"Because the average Democrat is not the California hippie Marxist Socialist Communist Progressive, sticking flowers in the barrel, sitting around smokin' dope all day during college and talkin' about how they can destroy the evil American empire."

"America changed for me this weekend. I don't see it anymore as this television set used to show me. I mean, I never thought I would see the kind of corruption, the backroom deals, the bribes, the out and out ... scumminess ... that got us to this health-care vote."

Beck again compared it to Pearl Harbor -- and then added the St. Valentine's Day Massacre "when the Mob came in and cleaned things up"), Chamberlain meeting with Hitler, and tossed in Jimmy Carter's election (huh?) and the burning of the Hindenburg (which he said is a picture of Medicare and Medicaid). He finished:

It will be remembered as a black spot in our nation's history, it will be. It will be -- ah well, depending on who wins the war. Because those are the people that will write the history books.

What's that? War? What war would that be? We're not sure at first, but he drops a few hints later, after disparaging his opposition as Marxists, professors, dupes, and leeches:

I got news for you, gang: The game is on. We're going to win. They might win a few battles. We'll win the war. Because we'll never give in. Never.

This part you can believe. Because that's been obvious since the day Barack Obama was elected -- Beck and his fellow conservatives would never concede the results of the election, would never respect the outcome politically, and would never stop fighting by whatever means necessary to stop any progressive agenda.

The next day, he began by calling upon his audience to respond to the passage of health-care reform the same way an earlier generation responded to the attack on Pearl Harbor:

"This is the biggest thing we have ever faced. This is our Pearl Harbor, our Normandy, our Custer's Last Stand."

(Eh? Not sure what the most one-sided and foolishly led massacre in American military history has to do with Normandy, but whatever.) But what is the real cause for alarm?

Beck: Just after winning the contentious, unpopular, rip-us-apart health-care-bill battle by jamming it down the throats of the American people, by hook or by crook, they're now talking about comprehensive immigration reform. This week!

Yeah, who could have imagined they'd be talking about it after a crowd at least twice as large as your much-hyped "9/12 March on Washingonton turned out at the National Mall to demand it? Of course, Beck's audience wouldn't know about that, since Fox did almost no reportage on it whatsoever -- in stark contrast to the wall-to-wall coverage for the 9/12 event.

At this point, Beck indulged in some really bizarre paranoia:

Holy cow! You've broken three commandments, three of them! Three of them, all in one principle. That's amazing. And for those of you in the administration who are coming after me on this one, I mean, remember, you've broken three, let's not make it four: 'Thou shalt not kill.'

Yes, Beck must keep an eye on his back at all times to watch for the evil Obama administration evildoers who are plotting to kill him. Oy.

But all this leads to his final conclusions:

Beck: Why would the president take up immigration right away, after he's just punched you in the face with health care?

Beck then compared health-care reform to spanking, saying that loving parents hug their kids after they spank them, and that's not what the Obama administration did:

Beck: So what happened, what happened this week? Haven't we just been spanked? Hasn't most the country -- doesn't most the country feel like they've been spanked?

[Um, actually, Glenn, no. Most of the country is glad it passed.]

Beck: If you loved us, what would you do? You would hug us. But they're not. They're going for illegal immigration, which almost tore us apart just a few years ago. Why would you do that?

Hmmm. That's a really hard one to figure out. Why exactly would the people who have been demonized as "cancer" out to "destroy America" on a daily basis by people like Glenn Beck and his adoring followers want to lift a single finger on their behalf? Why would anyone love people who make careers out of sliming and smearing them? Eh? Simple answer: Nobody loves you.

Why are the Tea Parties always being labeled as terrorist? Why is it? "They're extremists, they're terrorists, they're hatemongers, they're dangerous!"

What is it that these evolutionaries want? You'd pick up a gun? You ever thought of that? These people have. Because possibly, maybe the question should be asked: Maybe they're tired of evolution, and they are waiting for revolution.

Beck's clearly implying that the administration is deliberately trying to anger the Tea Partiers so much that they take up arms and start a "revolution."

In other words, if violence breaks out, it'll be because the Obama administration deliberately provoked it.

Which means the black helicopters are about to come take Glenn Beck away.

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