October 13, 2013

Yet more evidence that the collective IQs of this country would be measurably raised if they simply raze the CNN studios. It was hard to believe that "Your Money" could become more ridiculous with Ali Velshi's leaving, but damn if my expectations were too optimistic.

New host Christine Romans must be having a difficult time trying to minimize the economic destruction being threatened by the Republicans' collective poutrage and moving goalposts of demands. So she sought out a new way to explain the government shutdown to the long-suffering (or perhaps just permanently damaged?) viewers of Your Money. The government is like...are you ready for this?...it's just like President Obama marrying into a blended family.

I just threw up in my mouth a little:

ROMANS: I don’t want to make light of this situation, what’s going on in Washington, it’s incredibly important, but you know what? Last week we had a hostage negotiator on; this week we need you to tell us, are these irreconcilable differences?

WALSH: I don’t think they are, but I want you to understand a lot of Americans can relate to this, Christine, it’s a blended family metaphor. Think of Obama as the never-before-married bachelor who marries a single mother with an angry stepchild, that being the tea party of course. So, and John Boehner, so here I say ‘never married before’ because of course, he’s never been governor, he hasn’t had to have those harmonious relationships with legislators on the other side of the aisle that you know, Reagan had with Tip O’Neill or Clinton had with Newt Gingrich. He’s not good at the small talk and the chit chats! ‘How was your day, dear’ stuff. So then you take Boehner, who’s actually having a hard time choosing between his angry stepchild the tea party, who loves confrontation, and his new marriage. At the same time, Boehner’s husband, if you will, Obama, is about to become a star. I mean, let’s talk about it, the Affordable Care Act is really Obama’s signature legislation. It’s been law for a few years, it’s been approved by the Supreme Court, and now it stands to really make him a star. Now Boehner’s jealous and he’s doing what a woman often does, which is she stops sleeping with her husband. Which is the worst thing you can do.

Sweet jesus. My blood pressure went up dangerously and my IQ plummeted from that piece of excrement masquerading as a show on economic issues. What the hell was that? How does this help the national dialog? Inform viewers? Play a constructive role in anything at all?

Jon Stewart said it once of another CNN program, but it's clear it applies network-wide. Stop. You're hurting us.

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