Teabagger Rap FAIL

Joe Sudbay posted this over at Americablog and I had to pass it along.

Remember Fox News' now-defunct Half Hour Comedy Hour? Not Funny. They just don't do cool, well. Case in point, teabagging rapper, Hi-Caliber. Forget about his fact-free, "patriotic rap," he just sucks. I'll let the C&L'ers pick this stinker apart in the comments. Anyone care to offer up a more appropriate rap name for this guy?



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131 comments

I'll just refer to him as HIGH IDIOT! What the hell is this dude smokin'?

Really, whatever this assclown is smoking, I don't want it.

His name should be Hi-On-Cannabis. Then, he could perfect his wack rhymes in his own genre of crap music.

His name should be Hi-On-CannabisDirtweed

FIFY.

Did you notice the only non white person in the entire video was the one black guy who didn't make it out of town before they got there?

Iced Teabagger RAPubliKLAN

(c) Maximus7

Doesn't his demographic usually favor crystal meth?

loser.

I think we can now safely say Hi-Caliber is to rap what Winger is to rock.

You know it's bad when you feel embarrassed to watch it.

I felt embarrassed for my laptop to play it.

Eminems With Nuts.

good one

Because, if the real Americans do rise up. He'll get squashed.
delusional bozo. This clown thinks he's hip. biduh biduh biduh, say what?

Is this the newest thing? Real-life sequels? Cause I'm not interested in Civil War II. Other than this time around, the South (aka teabaggers around the US) will NEVER rise again because it's teabags will get cut off and they WON'T grow back.

This guy needs to be down in the hood doing his rap routine for his persecuted brothers. I’m sure that would go over very well.

While wearing a confederate flag T-shirt. I'd pay to see that.

Almost snarfed my coffee with that one.....

canadian dude from quebec busts better rhymes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PsnxDQvQpw

I like it...this guy is good.

That was excellent! Very funny! Thanks.

A tea bag of sorts....

Ignoring what MC Douche is actually saying - I was actually a little humiliated for him.
My co-worker had to divert his eyes.

Dude, are you TRYING go bait us into getting ourselves in trouble?
Seriously!?

*ahem*

Pi$$ed off Whitey
Yammering Cracker
Nō Infō
Blissed by Ignorance
Busta Teabag

Granted, I respect the fact that he's trying to make a buck off these people. While I abhor predatory business practices, I do think some idiots should be separated from their money.

Manure Tea---
Used to mix up well rotted cow manure with water in a garbage can and fertilize the flower beds with the liquid result, back in the olden days of the 70's. This seems just what the guy is doing.

haha .. seriously. I wanna battle this clown.

MC Homunculus.

---

Dropped
On
Head
As
A
Baby

seems to be a good voice for the brain-dead who took a perfectly good description of a sex act as their movement's name (ruining the sex act in the process)

Just shorten it to Dropped on Head.....or D'OH!

Worked for Homer Simpson.

whiteness, but in this case, none of the soul or beats.

Leave it to a white conservative to culturally appropriate a form of music invented and nurtured by people of color to try and make an overwhelmingly white and also quite racist movement look hipper.

Blech!

oh wait nevermind. ;)

***
MC Rove, anybody??

WEAK-T

Ha!

Very good. I'm down with it.

after burnt finishes with him? ;)

And is he going to do the MC Rove flipper hands dance?

I got little kids trick or treating but I'll drop a cypher later tonight

I didn't think they could get this lame. And how about how this jerk raps all the lies the right wing have fed him. Too funny (if it was not so humiliating).

That guy raps, like Joe the Plumber pundits.

LMAO!

pathetic.

Needs more Dick Cheney Shooting Hi-Caliber in the Face

C_RAPPER

Hai Karate
.22
Full Metal Jackoff
Limp Dickless

...Vanilla Ass?

Small_Bore?

Blank-Gunn?

MC Dudd?

Back-Fire?

Hi-colonic

Awww, rats, 12stringNY! I thought I was soooo brilliant thinking of "Hi-Colonic", but you beat me too it! Great minds, etc.

`It's a cold snowy night here and I finally decided to ask if the right wingers have any idea how stupid they are calling themselves TEABAGGERS? Among the hockey players I used to ref and along with ppl in their 20's teabagging is a verb among young males. Anyone want to guess? I'll be back later with the answer

Ice Tea Bag

Says:patriotic people throw your hands in the air!
And wave 'em around like you just don't..care?
Wouldn't that make you kind of "unpatriotic" genius?

A con trying to rap
Is like whitey at the mall
Trying busta rhyme
In front of Macy’s Big and Tall

Give us Ann Coulter
Give us Sean Hannity
Moderate the party?
Stop the insanity!

Love Ronald Reagan
Love Sarah Palin
Still love the GOP after 8 years of failin’

We love Rush Limbaugh
And love Glenn Beck
Almost as much as when we hung blackie by the neck

You can call us righties
Or call us cons
But the most appropriate name
Is the Christian Taliban

A national party
Is what we tried to be
But we’re not too popular
Outside Georgia and Tennessee

I’ll tell ya like a friend
I’ll tell ya like a brotha
The GOP sucks
Word to your motha!

Than MC Wing Nut without even trying.

nice

Music funded by the FREEDOM WORKS, the profiteers of death, deceit, and dumbing down of humanity.

The guy ought to just have a big tattoo on his FACE that says ASSHOLE.

I was thinking the other way around...Tattoo on asshole that says face

Funded by the Free DumbJerks---how shocking. The organization that couldn't find its ass with both hands.

Just like this insipid moron doing fake rap.

Lump

Actually the dude has some talent. Just imagine how hard it must be to rap with a teabag slapping you in the face.

looking for some attention...move along...next...

Solja Goy

Berry, or Lucy Liu, etc. or has them in the vid.

Teabagger rap evidently prefers Monica Crowley... :S

Beyotch freestyle with same REAL rappers. Oh wait-no real rapper would waste their time on this boy

He shouldn't be rapping, PERIOD!!! He doesn't even seem to have the intelligence to wrap cheeseburgers at McDonald's.

IDIOT!!!

I’m a patriot
Who don’t wanna think
About nothing that’s gonna make my vote count shrink
Democrats and ideas make me fidget
The reason why is I’m a MENTAL MIDGET

I’m armed with lies and total crap
And some of you believe that this is rap
You can understand why I’m a tool
The reason is that IT’S THE MONEY, FOOL!
They pay me to stand here and act like a jerk
Because that’s my goddamn line of work

I got to do this for my next meal
Because I sure as hell ain’t Michael Steele

I think this guy’s name is SWJ

Stupid White Jackass

Give it up with the 911 patriot bullshit already.

O...M...F...G

There's his bottom line.
He's HORNEY... and a NOBODY... and he WANTS TO GET LAID!

this is SOOO PATHETIC.

Now that one makes me sleepy!

Are right in the Star Wars Kid zone.
Love the pathetic attempt at "attitude" they both fail to pull off.
Ha!

why is some much space on this (and other democratic) blogs spent on tea baggers like this doofus, glenn beck, et. al. It is almost as bad as network TV.

How about forgetting about what the neo-cons are blathering about, and get serious about organizing action for a real agenda?

Obama seems to have lost focus in major areas - like sending more troops to war, like allowing generals to leak and undermine, like giving up on even a compromised health care plan, like bringing in the same old Wall St. cabal to run Treasury, like extending illegal wiretaps and watchlists, like not prosecuting Bush crimes.

Why? Corporate backers? Fear of reprisal? Get-along compromise?

There needs to be a much louder, insistent organized demand for the Change We Believe In. Where is the counter protest?

I am tired of seeing the Baggers, and Becks dominating the discourse. There was a clean mandate for change. There is a clear majority for change.

Let's talk about that.

The airwaves are already clogged with visions of the big GOP "comeback" and FOX "protests" and on and on and Obama hasn't been ion office a year.It's truly stomach churning.

The rethugs live in fanstasy land. This week polls showed them at 20% and low approval ratings compared to Democrats. With the party imploding every day, the wishful thinking is like a child believing in santa claus. I agree with the poster above, we need more agenda setting and less wingnut "news".

No shit.

Actually, we do that every day but, there's always time for the Becks and the teabeggers. See, it's very important while pushing our adgenda, that we keep an eye on, and sharply point out, the alternative. Wingnuts only reinforce the mandate for change...from Republicans to Democrats. Chill Out! It's the weekend! Time for some levity!

I have a web site at http://DEMOCRATZ.ORG

You will see some actions to make phone calls and sign some petitions for a strong public option, an increase in the minimum wage, EFCA, the women's freedom of choice act, etc. Go ahead and organize people to make phone calls and sign those petitions.

Lame bullshit
shooting blanks
limp bisdik

Of course he sucks. He's doing rap.

[have to type something here]

Wow. That's awful.

"Throw you hands in the air
And wave them around like you just don't care." Really? What is this 1970?

Hi-Caliber?

More like... lo... caliber... or something...

Damn... I lost my funny. Must be all this liberal cancer up in hurr...

Seriously. Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care? Uh, that is so 70s, you clueless loser.

This reminds me of Alan Grayson sticking up for the people ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOqzd6T6uus&fe...

Freedom works,
Only works for jerks.
Operation cruel,
On obliging fools.

Idiots biting,
Attitude igniting,
Bright like a fire,
Freedom Works though are GD liars!

Ignorant citizens.
Missed high school Social Studies.
The uninsured bleeding.
Freedom Works, says "Let them stay bloodied"

Freedom Works are the Insurance Companies.
They're the ones that,
Let the sick die for money
Not to mention the executives get really fat.

A million and a half dollars a day.
Freedom Works spends hoping we'll go away.
We however are here to inform.
While the worms they are habitually squirm.

These idiots that claim Socialism is Communism.
Like tyranny will come from health care for all,
Are overlooking torture, spying, illegal invasions,
Those principles which will make this Republic fall.

The Republican/Conservatives which claim Patriotism,
Glad to let fellow Citizens die.
While proclaiming to be Christians
Yet don't flinch or sigh.

Well-well, they can go to Hell.

Maybe this all some sort of dancehall garage dubstep hybrid ... I don't care ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVbhOZjSuic&fe...

oh man that little punch line at the end made it worth enduring this clip. that, after hearing him call himself a "starving artist". the shout and frame of monica crowley immediately was icing on the cake. the combination of money and being able to ogle the "conserva-babes" in a high profile way lured this hardcore homey into the movement!

he's the "joe da plummah" of the rap world! love it.

Oh come on, at least he's *trying* here and expressing some passion in his beliefs in a slightly more positive fashion than Fox News ever manages. Anyway, we'd look just as stupid pulling off the same shtick from a liberal perspective - there are some things that adamantly shouldn't be politicised, and rap is one of 'em.

Anyway, we'd look just as stupid pulling off the same shtick from a liberal perspective....

I think that is the point. I (we?) don't.

apolitical?

uh what?

there's lots of great rap that is purely political.
Last Poets, Public Enemy, Dead Prez, Paris, X Clan, Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, Mos Def, KRS One, Common, just to mention a few.

Coup:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1I6Di_q31Y

Goodie Mob:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuWB9Nhoypw

I’m young and I’m tall
And old enough to fight
But when it comes to signing up
I’ll up and take flight

I’m all for these wars
So long as I don’t have to go
I’m white and I’m privileged
Let the black guy go

Deferments one and two?
That’s small time slick
You gotta take five
To match Dead Eye Dick

“Fight to protect freedom”
That’s what I squawk and squawk
But when it comes to fighting
All I am is talk

I talk a tough game
But it’s just to save face
Before I’d enlist to fight
I’d let you go in my place

Fighting oil wars
That’s for minorities
Just like Dick Cheney
I’ve got other priorities

I can just hear ol' "Hi" spittin' this one!

The humor in this for me is this guy is conveying his agenda using a style of music conceived and popularized by an inner city culture. Typically, the people that rapped before it became mainstream were young, poor, black kids - exactly the same type of people the GOP hates.

Rap is a strange thing for Republicans to want to use. It's a form of artistic expression, and artistic expression isn't something they've ever been familiar with. It's popularity still lies predominantly in the "black" culture, the same types of people that Republicans typically hate, and over the years, a fair number of rappers and songs promote the benefits of weed/alcohol/prostitution, which are all against family values.

Then again, the glorification of guns and misogynistic views are solidly in line with their beliefs, so I guess it's not too far fetched...

Yeah..."patriotic people throw your hands in the air, like you just don't care??" WTF is that supposed to mean, other than it makes rhyme for this moron.

What a dumb ass, pathetic piece of rap-barf.

Nice try turd head. This reagan/god syndrome that these dillusional idiots have is enough to make me feel pity on their dried up brain cells. Same category as the lipstick-pig. Go girl, you go!

...like you just don't care...? Moron.

. . . he's not carrying a rifle in Iraq or Afghanistan, if he's such a big fucking patriot?

As far as names go:

DJ John Wayne (another phony patriot who didn't enlist)
Lil' Cheney
MC Smegma

Or DJ Trickle On, guess that might be more fitting...

would be washed out of basic anyway, they're too self centered and wouldn't play for the team effort. I know I wouldn't want one in my unit. Could you imagine someone like Cheney helping pull you out of the shit in a bad situation? He'd be running to save his own ass

---- MC Smegma

ROTFLMFAO!!!!

M.C. Pee pants
ht to Aqua-teen Hunger Force.

Hi Caliber
you reppin hip hop like a ballad were
and if you wanna battle, sure
bring it on
I'll meet your alter ego on a stage and laugh at her
make you madder till you stammer and leave the crowd sayin
"bye caliber!"

its no wonder there ain't nothin correct in what you sayin
kid you're gettin your truth from Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin
come on dog there ain't no way in hell that you're claimin
"the only emcee who ever rocked it in capitol hill"
man that type of sh*t that you sayin
might leave you layin
face down in a gravel ditch
lookin like a fool while your whole crew sayin
"damn Caliber got musta got his ass kicked!"
and
"yo, who the f*ck is DJ Kool??"
hah nah I'm just playin bitch

but true school heads heard that last verse and got it.
and true school heads are tryin to legalize chronic.
but new school heads see what they see and not beyond it,
and your fool head ain't patriotic.

I'll drop science on anyone, anytime,
Hi Caliber wouldn't dare
to step into a true lyrical battle
Hi Caliber is scared

cuz that mic in the hand might feel
too real
Hi Caliber can't rep the scene he's tryin to rep ...
like Mike Steele

Hi Caliber still lives in his mom basement,
paintin signs, cookin tweek, bumpin lines
scribblin wack statments.
I don't know what's a bigger defacement ...
an ignorant patriot, or street rappin racist

so get your ass back to free republic with them fibs,
with them lids and adlibs
cuz I'll set you straight right in front of your kids /
Hi Caliber, I ain't afraid to embarrass you
because there ain't nobody scared of you ...

...

Nice freeply...

If you dare
Sounds Like Real Hip-Hop for people with a brain.
Record Label Starvin Artist
Type of Label Indie

He has Pat Tilman on his site as a "friend".
Pat Tilman, who would hate him if he were still alive.
Now that's funny.

heh

"the only mc to ever rock on capitol hill"

Incorrect!

I distinctly remember MC Hammer's most-awkward-ever impromptou rap session with members of congress shortly after 9/11

LL Kool Aid
Notorious GOP

Run-RNC
HWA-honky with attitude

He got one thing right... They certainly wave their hands in the air like they just don't care...about the country or how awful this god fearing rapper really is...

Purposely delusional
hastily conclusional
Pretending I'm black, hopin' you'll forget I'm white
in the hope that some dollars come tricklin' from the right

Cause you see, as I see, that the right don't know what's hip
I'm just an effect of their political slip
I'm just a desperate measure to save their "political base"
But you know, as I know, we're both laughin' in their face

Mos Def-initley Whack
Rappa Epic Fail
Beastly Boi
Co Opting Dirty Bastard
Caliber, the Non Alcoholic Beer

Don't forget this one, where Max Blumenthal ran into Hi-Caliber at CPAC; he improvises some rhymes and tells the story of his political conversion after hearing 10 minutes of Michael Savage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6qkUheVWVY

I played this backwards: the hidden message: bail me out deadman bail me out kenyan

M.T. Chamber and the Douche-Bag Crew. A march of over a mill-e-un, YEAH RIGHT....TRY 70-80,000!! Next please!

MC FifthGradeEdumacation

Is this what Michael Steele meant when he said "the GOP needs a hip-hop makeover"? That sure looks like something that would come from an urban-suburban hip-hop setting to me!

"Hands in the air rhymes with just don't care... Man, this rap stuff be eazy, y'all!" - MC FGE

Sorry folks, I could only last 16 seconds of that shit.

I name this guy Ice Tbagger

Im a conservative
That’s what Im proud to be
We’ve conned the American people
From LA to DC

You think we're Country First?
That's the wrong impression
We stretched the military
And caused a global recession

Sanctity of marriage?
I’m married with a mistress
And I teabag all day
Against my own best interests

True morality?
I use a different meter
A drug addicted gas bag
Is my party leader

Dems running up the deficit
Trying to help the average man
But I’d rather go in debt
Bombing Iraq and Iran

Im not that smart
And I’m not too bright
Surpassed only by my cowardice
Pushing wars I won’t fight

I could go to war
But I'm a coward and a rapper
For the party of Mark Sandford
And Craig the toe tapper

Obama’s liked at home
And admired across the world
But I long for the president
For at whom that shoe was hurled

We're the White People's Party
The new KKK
This entire cheesy video
I made in a day

Bigots in the house!
Homophobes too!
The new GOP
Is the party for you!

Hey Sean Hannity!
Your waterboard is waiting
You said you'd strap on it
But I guess you were perpetrating!

I’ve rapped long enough
I’ve said all I can
Listening to Coulter now
Cause that's my man!

Peace out yo!

To all the C&Lers for wonderful and hilariously thoughtful lyrics.
Good job 6&7. Made my morning.

This is great! Hi's stupidity is inspiring!

Lil Moron is IN (...errr outside) THE HOUSE!!!

What the hell was that? This fake ass, M&M Wannabe was pathetic! Is Suge Knight still in jail? Because if he's not, he should find this guy and hang his ass over a balcony until he agrees never to rap again. Oh, and tell that twinkie that we Libruls are going to keep kicking conservatives asses because they're ideas are as old and out dated as their pathetic party. Damn, my ears are bleeding!

How about MC Douchebag? Um, Lil Member? MC Summers Eve? MC Massengil? MC Saltine?

I got it! Hillbilly Heroine!

Tone-Def?

Cracker Rapper.

Zombieonce - he shoudda just put a ringtone on it.

Regards,

Tengrain

Is that the extent of your powers little one? Tea baggers like rap music? (Albeit the monotony of the construct does line up with the average teabagging intellect) Desde cuando chica?

I like Killa crackur

or

Toner Low

This is the epitome of what rap should not be: standing up for the status quo, the rich and powerful, and nothing progressive.
Yes I did notice that in this video there were only two black people, at the most. It's a shame that true losers like High On Something (and other right wing "rappers") have taken the medium of rap/hip hop and subverted it to this.
At least with Eminem, he seemed to have to indeed have the spirit of hip hop and actually is a pretty good rapper (and had several good progressive raps). This guy is a loser in every sense of the word. He didn't even get it when Max Blumenthal was mocking him.

:-)

They saw the R party fall deeper into a hole than they have ever seen for many decades. They are just trying any and all strategies, imitating the Left, noting the CRUSH of the last Presidential aquisition of us. But they aren't taking into consideration that maybe it was the common sense and humanity, regard for humanity for mankind, Iraqis included, and innocent Afghanis too, and undoubtedly our own troops as well. Oddly, using those value systems, don't seem to been taken seriously by them. It's all war, warbling "facts", and of course the constant nodding by the FUX nutwork herd. The hooved feet aren't allowed into the studio though. So all their sheeple viewers can't all come in and nod in unison, with maybe the rhythm of Hannity's voice, and the cadence of 2.5 lies per minute.

As the rebellion against the Bush/Conservative/monarchy(literally a monarchy) started taking hold within this last 8 years, the awareness of those of us that got a high school education, and mine wasn't even a good one, I know what the characteristics of tyranny are. Hell, why was it we all hated the Nazis and Hitler? Mostly because they tortured human beings, and invaded countries that were innocent, and starting the Reichstagg Fire, and calling it "terrorism". Those things happened under Bush. So, now, the Reich...er...I mean Right-wing is trying to tell us that tyranny and the loss of our democracy is at stake if (like France, Canada and other fine countries) we got Universal Health Care, gosh, wouldn't we just be going to Hell then, with (gasp) Universal Health Care! Never mind that "all that money" that would be given to the country to run it, would just go to a different source (Universal Health Care) rather than the morbidly fat CEOs of Health Insurance companies. Remember, those companies usually run on a profit, and so it wouldn't "break" the treasury. But instead of the pigs that have jets, those CEOs getting their millions, instead, Americans that would have been denied their health care, even though they paid their premiums all along, their fatal condition won't be covered, for some little legal (UNREGULATED) fiendish escape, loophole, the government would give that otherwise denied tragically ill individual the care they need.

It's simple reality, regard for humanity, and basic knowledge of simple math that made us on the Left score more in votes (even with the dirty Right-Wing doing the election fraud, we still outnumbered them through their machines. It's basic principles and knowledge. We just have to make sure that real knowledge can still get to people whose brain hasn't melted from FAUX noise and such. It's these things, not that the RAP culture took note of their and our basic knowledge from H.S. Social Studies. Not the rap that wins elections. It's honestly regarding the well being of humanity, not the well being of corporate needs like insurance companies who have and extra 1.5 million a day to throw at the political player/media.

I've been inspired to make terrible hip hop by "Hi"

yo-hear the words I'm spittin'-
take the wax out ya ears if you can't listen.
ima take you to a place called the library-
get a few of those brain cells start to firin'-see,
Hi-you don't to seem to be too up on stuff-
'bout anything in general,and what America's made of.
I'm tellin' you and your posse what's up, and what's real-
you need to quit coppin'a feel....
from Sean Hannity-looks like a mannitee-
and Beck that bastard, Crowley's like Aleister.
you keep claimin' you have all the facts...
stupid dip, you're a one-man sh*& attack.

"Anyone care to offer up a more appropriate rap name for this guy?"

Pun TeaMC

Hi Colonic more accurately reflects what this moron is delivering.

How about Shill Swill from Greedom, er, I mean, Freedom Works?

I could only withstand 45 seconds. That was painful and fact-free. Thanks Teabaggers!

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