Date: Thursday Night December 2, 2004
Place: Wadsworth Theatre, Brentwood, CA.
Event: Michael Moore and John Dean
Dean: "I'm gonna say a word or a phrase and you tell me the first thing that pops into your head."
Moore: "Oh I thought you were gonna ask me who Deep Throat was?
Dean: "I'm gonna let the audience grade your answers."
Dean: "Laura Bush."
Moore: "Killer."
Dean: "That's two words."
Moore: "No! I said killer, not Kill Her!"
Dean: "Explain"
Moore: "She killed a man when she was 17. Her ex-boyfriend who had broken up with her. It was November of 1963 in Midland, Texas. She ran a stop sign. Michael Douglass was his name. Star quarterback of the football team. It was 10 days before the Kennedy assassination. I just say that for the assassination buffs! Imagine if Hillary Clinton had killed her boyfriend? We'd never hear the end of it."
The raucous crowd roared with laughter and hoots.
Dean: "Karl Rove"
Moore: "Congradulations"
(Audience HISSES)
Dean: "Donald Rumsfeld"
Moore: "War criminal"
(Audience CHEERS)
Dean: "Condi Rice"
Moore: "Buddy"
Moore went on to reveal some insight into the unusually perverse relationship between the National Security Advisor, soon-to-be Secretary of State and the President.
"She never and I mean never leaves his side. They wake up the same exact time and work out in the gym together alone everyday. They apparently bonded over baseball. Nobody, nobody, NOBODY is closer to the President than her. And the media won't touch this story. Write about it!"
Dean: "Dick Cheney"
A beat.
Moore: "President"
Dean: "The genius of Dick Cheney - he lets George Bush wake up every morning and THINK he is President.
Dean: "Barney"
Moore: "The one good thing you can say about Bush is that he's good to his dogs."
"So was Hitler," shouts a balcony dweller.
Dean: "How many pairs of underwear did you pass out on campuses?"
Moore: "Hundreds. We went to 63 campuses. Look, we prevented a Bush landslide. Our candidate did not have a single story to tell. His story covered 17 chapters. All Kerry had was "I'm not Bush" and we got 57 million votes with just that tagline."
Moore continued: "America loves Hollywood. Don't let Hannity and O'Reilly tell you different. Don't think they are trying to help you. That's why the Right runs Reagan and Arnold and Sonny Bono and the guy from the Loveboat. The Democrats run policy wonks. The two times we won, we won with a rock star, Bill Clinton and a movie star, John Kennedy."
"How did they end up with better screenwriters? Karl Rove CREATED the Crawford Ranch as a set, a year before the election. Democrats, don't run AWAY from Hollywood. Run TO Hollywood!" exhorted Moore.
"We need a simple story. Bob Dylan did it in a three minute song. We can do it. It was embarrassing this happened and we're never gonna let this happen again!" yelled Moore.
Dean: "Condi Rice"
Moore: "Buddy"
Moore went on to reveal some insight into the unusually perverse relationship between the National Security Advisor, soon-to-be Secretary of State and the President.
"She never and I mean never leaves his side. They wake up the same exact time and work out in the gym together alone everyday. They apparently bonded over baseball. Nobody, nobody, NOBODY is closer to the President than her. And the media won't touch this story. Write about it!"
Dean: "Dick Cheney"
A beat.
Moore: "President"
Dean: "The genius of Dick Cheney - he lets George Bush wake up every morning and THINK.
Dean: "Barney"
Moore: "The one good thing you can say about Bush is that he's good to his dogs."
Dean: "How many pairs of underwear did you pass out on campuses?"
Moore: "Hundreds. We went to 63 campuses. Look, we prevented a Bush landslide. Our candidate did not have a single story to tell. His story covered 17 chapters. All Kerry had was "I'm not Bush" and we got 57 million votes with just that tagline."
