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Bill Maher Has Some Suggestions On How We Can Save Christmas

Real Time's Bill Maher with some suggestions on how to save Christmas during his final New Rules segment of the year.
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Bill Maher may be an atheist, but that didn't stop him from giving some suggestions for how we can save Christmas during his New Rules segment during the final installment of Real Time for 2014.

MAHER: And finally, new rule, I don't know if there is a hell, but if there is on the trip to get there, the inflight movie must be Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas. But if there isn't that hell, as I suspect, I'd like to take a crack at saving Christmas myself, because I do think it does need saving.

After explaining why he has an affection for Christmas, and taking a look at all of the self-help books out there written to help people make it through the holidays, Maher asked what we could do to get Christmas' poll numbers back up.

His "three point plan" included first, shortening the season and combining all of the year end holidays into one big one called Thankshallowistmas.

MAHER: Second, we must recognize that although stress from seeing family has always been there, it's gotten worse because thanks to the Internet and Fox news, half your family is now full-on insane and impossible to talk to.

Therefore we need to start a tradition that all conversation around the table be restricted to the weather, the big game, whether Gene Hackman is still alive, what the dog looks like he's thinking and when are you going to have that thing looked at?

And subjects that should be off limits are politics, child rearing advice, weight gain, "good things" Hitler did and whether the carpet matches the drapes. Oh, and FYI, the kids and their cousins didn't "go for a walk." They're in the garage getting high.

And finally if we really want to get rid of the Christmas stress, we've got to get rid of the gift giving. Spending money you don't have to give people you don't like stuff they don't want, that's got to stop.

I'm sure there are a lot of Americans that would agree with him.


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