It's A Bird! It's A Plane! No, It's Super-Ted Cruz!
November 12, 2014

Look, kids! It's SuperTed, here to save the nation from healthcare and other bad things.

Right-wing homeschoolers everywhere must be so excited, especially in Texas where they can assign their little darlings art assignments to color SuperTed while staying within the lines of his chosen villains: lawlessness, illegal immigration, high taxes, and Obamacare.

The makers of the “Ted Cruz To The Future Comic Coloring Activity Book” have announced a new supplement to their original effort to teach the wonder that is Ted Cruz to children, entitled “Ted Cruz Saves America.” The original Ted Cruz coloring book claimed to offer a “non-partisan, fact-driven view” of Senator Cruz. It claims that Cruz is a “passionate fighter for limited government, economic growth, and the Constitution,” and that Cruz’s failed effort to halt the Affordable Care Act “was so important because millions of citizens believe Obama Care is worse than any war. At least American soldiers have weapons with which to defend themselves.”

Sweet! The coloring book's publishers insist there's not a damn partisan thing about this, either. They're just promoting positive role models, don't you know?

According to a statement from the book’s publisher, “[t]he supplement and book are fact based, fair and objective, about a man who millions of American citizens consider a real life true to heart super hero for children to look up to.” He adds that “Ted Cruz is history in the making.”

Sorry to disappoint you, kids, but Ted Cruz is no role model for anything, unless you want to grow up to be a cynical liar with a mean streak.

What's next? The Michele Bachmann Book of Fables?

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