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Bill Maher Reminds White People That They've Still Got It Pretty Good

Real Time's Bill Maher reminds white Americans that are bitching about "wanting their country back" that white privilege in the United States of America is still alive and well.
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Real Time's Bill Maher reminds white Americans that are bitching about "wanting their country back" that white privilege in the United States of America is still alive and well.

From this Friday's New Rules segment:

And finally, New Rule, someone must remind white Americans that even though other people are making small victories and making slight gains, you're not losing. You're still way, way ahead. For example, before the recession, whites had four times the wealth of blacks and Latinos, but since the recession, that's gone up. Now they have six times as much. So if anyone should be bitching about wanting their country back, it ain't you.

Now I bring this up because last week the National Academy of Sciences reported that the death rate for white Americans, 45-54 and no college degree has risen markedly in this century, a time when the mortality rate for any large group is virtually unheard of in an advanced nation, or even in this one.

But middle-aged American whites are dropping like flies. Overweight, depressed, poorly dressed flies. Dropping from what? Drugs, alcohol, suicide and possibly, trying to fit into skinny jeans.

The suicide rates for whites is now four times the rate for blacks, and in the last decade, 90 percent of the people who tried heroine for the first time were white. It's hard out there for a wimp.

And that's why tonight, I'd like to remind white people of something very important they may have forgotten. You're white. Cheer the fuck up.

Jesus, look at history! It's always a great time to be white. Think of all the advantages you have. Cops don't shoot you for having your hands in your pockets. When people follow you around the store, it's because they want to help you find something.

Major party presidential candidates aren't proposing to deport you. You can walk through an entire wedding reception without anyone trying to order a drink from you. And how about this perk? If you're white, you're much more likely to be not in prison.


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Blacks and whites use marijuana at virtually the same rate, not counting Miley Cyrus, but blacks are charged with possession almost four times as often, and crack cocain will send you to jail for much longer than powder cocain, the preferred brand of white people.

In fact if the cops see a Caucasian man walking down the street with white powder under his nose, all they say is, “Man that must have been a great doughnut.”

Hell, you can be a coke head and an aimless drunk until you're 40 and still wind up President of the United States.

Which reminds me of another great thing about being white. You can be a complete fuck up and people still hire you. Studies show white applicants with a criminal record are as likely to get hired as black applicants without. Prison time served by blacks, deal breaker. Prison time served by whites, interesting water cooler conversation.

And whites are still first in line for legacy admissions to colleges and businesses and politics, because the well connected parents of white people tend to be white. Also you're much more likely to be the boss. Forture 500 CEO's are 97 percent white and 3 percent Oprah.

Your median net worth of a single white woman, $42,000, of a single black woman $5, because she spent it all on a weave. […]

In short, when you're white, you don't need to be that good. There was a popular band in the '70's called the Average White Band. They admitted they were average but it didn't matter, because they were white.

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