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Stephen Colbert: Baby Hitler Is No Match For Jeb!

'Hell yeah' Jeb would kill baby Hitler, but wait, Jeb is a little concerned about the ramifications of time travel, being a Bush and all.
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Jeb! Bush's "Hell yeah I would" response to the would you kill baby Hitler if you went back in time question was bound to raise eyebrows in the late night TV circuit, and of course, no one does it better than Stephen Colbert. He addressed this bizarre conundrum, one of the many that surrounds the Jeb! campaign these days.

His claim that he would certainly kill baby Hitler if he had the chance was challenged by Colbert, who thinks he has a better plan.

“I wouldn’t let him join anything where they have to wear a uniform — no Cub Scouts, no Little League, definitely no marching band,” Colbert continued. “Most importantly, I would teach Baby Hitler that we do not solve our problems with violence, and then — if he starts getting mouthy as a teenager, I stick a knife in his ribs and snap off the handle.”

Jebby was concerned with the unforeseen repercussions of tinkering with history, much like those like 'that Michael (J) Fox guy' faced in 'that movie' (Back To The Future). Could he make things worse than Hitler did? Anything is possible, after all, he is a Bush.

Effortlessly, Stephen hammered away at the Republican Party's inability to address the dichotomy of evidence-based evolution with the Creationist movement. He also lambasted the deranged theories of Dr. Ben Carson, who lately makes Donald Trump seem sane and competent. From Raw Story:

Colbert said the question was actually a good one, because time travel may one day become possible — and the “Late Show” host said the United States needed a president who would responsibly and effectively use the science fiction technology.

“When time travel technology arrives, you know the president will be the first one to use it,” he said. “You want a trustworthy leader at the helm of Time Force One, someone who will use it responsibly and not waste it taking Jesus on a pterodactyl ride.”

Colbert showed an illustration of Mike Huckabee and Jesus Christ riding a flying dinosaur.


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“Ben Carson has said, if he could go back in time, he would prevent the Holocaust by giving Jews guns,” he said. “Of course, Ben Carson wouldn’t kill Hitler himself. As a doctor, he swore first: Do no harm. Second: Give everyone guns.”

He closed with a statement that is as preposterous as the entire Republican field.

“If that attack fails, and the horror of being stabbed by a person that he thinks is his father turns him into a monstrous dictator, it’s easily fixable,” Colbert said. “I just go back in time and kill Baby Me.”

I found the whole phraseology of the question posed to Jebby incredibly ironic. It's weird that someone of the 'pro-life' party thinks that killing the infant who would become the biggest monster of the Twentieth Century would be the right thing to do. I wonder what he'd say if someone would have asked him if he'd have taken Mrs. Hitler to the abortion doctor to get rid of Adolf the fetus, but I suspect he'd be against that.

But last night, Colbert one-ups the GOP by creating a scenario that out-crazies them all, as only he can. Republican 'comics' could never hold a candle to Stephen Colbert because, to find humor in life's situations, you need a solid cognizance of existence, the human psyche and, most importantly, some degree of empathy for others.

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