April 5, 2016

After a disastrous week, Donald Trump is trying to regain some of the momentum he had. First, his campaign manager was charged with assaulting a female reporter. Trump's response? Nothing. Didn't fire him. In fact,Trump went so far as to accuse the reporter of being a danger because she was carrying a pen while interviewing him. Yes, a pen. His abortion comments, in particular, managed to infuriate wide swaths of the American public, including liberals, pro choice advocates, women and even the pro life movement. That man has a talent! He is universally despised right now.

Trump tried last week to get the females back on his side by parading Caribou Barbie out in Wisconsin. Yeah, that went about as well as can be expected. Sarah Palin gave an incoherent, rambling, insane stump speech which apparently did nothing to help him. In fact, the only thing people seemed to remember was how ludicrous Palin sounded, leading many to question just how drunk or high she actually was.

So last night Trump did what any desperate man does, he forced his former model and QVC jewelry designer wife onto a stage in Wisconsin and paid, I mean *made* her to talk about how awesome he is and how his hands and man parts are indeed yuge. Tremendous. Large. Better than the rest of the candidates! Trust her.

Her speech was basically a repeat of everything Donald says, down to short sentences, strong descriptive words and the sentence structure of a four year old, awkwardly delivered and way too contrived to be believed. (Emphasis added.)

'It is wonderful to be here today with you and with my husband. I'm very proud of him. He's a hard worker, he's kind, he has a great heart. He's tough. He's smart.

'He's a great communicator. He's a great negotiator. He's studied the truth. He's a great leader. He's fair.

'As you may know by now, when you attack him, he will punch back ten times harder. No matter who you are – a man or a woman – he treats everyone equal.

'He's a fighter, and if you elect him to be your president, he will fight for you and for our country. He will work for you and lead you.

'And together we will make America strong and great again. Thank you.'

That said, USA Today illustrates that Melania may have better political instincts than...anyone else associated with the billionaire's campaign:

She said she wishes sometimes that her husband would act more presidential.

“Sometimes I feel that the retweets sometimes get him in trouble so I say stay away from retweets,” she said. “And you know if he would only listen…he’s doing great..”

If his goal was to regain women voters, parading your trophy wife on stage to use metaphors involving punching women, and commenting that he doesn't listen to you? May not be the way to do it.

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