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Charles Koch Launches A New Image Rehab Tour

Charles Koch is taking it to the people.
Charles Koch Launches A New Image Rehab Tour
Image from: Monte Wolverton

Charles Koch might not like Donald Trump, but he still loves conservative ideas and wants all of us to unite around his brand of conservatism. So to that end, he's launching another "Love the Billionaires" tour, so he can sell all of us on his special ideas about free markets and such.

You know what those are, basically. Starve everyone, be sure they don't make a minimum wage, and let the billionaires have all the money.

USA Today, in another exclusive, reports:

Working to soften his partisan image, conservative billionaire Charles Koch's industrial conglomerate this week will launch a television and digital advertising campaign that calls for Americans of all political stripes to “end the divide” as he seeks broader support for his free-market ideas and defends his corporate brand.

Oh, yay! Perhaps he'd like for us to stop boycotting his products? That won't happen as long as I have air in my lungs and some outside to breathe.

The advertising, which starts Friday, aims to “get a national conversation going,” Koch told USA TODAY. “Let’s stop attacking people we disagree with and trying to silence them. Let’s instead try to find common ground and learn from each other so we can innovate.”

Oh, how bipartisan of him. Before too long, I'm betting he'd like us all to gather round No Labels and love them more. Here's a news flash for you, Chuck. If the Berners and the Hillbots can't be friends right now, we're sure as sh*t not going to fawn all over you.

The campaign comes as Koch and his aides work to retool parts of his vast policy and political empire and direct more money and effort toward public policy and social change. The network recently launched a new arm, dubbed Stand Together, which has set attacking poverty and boosting educational quality as early goals. And Koch officials have disbanded an opposition-research unit that gathered information about liberal groups, Democratic candidates and others.

Oh. A peace gesture. How nice of them. Of course, none of this will matter if President Trump takes office, because there just won't be a democracy anymore, which I think might please them more than anything else.

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