September 3, 2016

Donald Trump wants to clean up crime in our nation's big cities, and he believes he can do it faster and better than anyone could ever imagine. The Late Show's Stephen Colbert discussed his latest fatuous lunacy which makes the claim that he could solve all crime in about a week, with the help of a super police officer. This fantasy is essentially the plot of a robotic super cop, which seems to be a plausible strategy upon which he would base his crime fighting plans.

Colbert plays a video clip from the O'Reilly Factor which featured Herr Drümpf recalling an alleged Chicago law enforcement officer who was a 'top cop,' but not the Chief of Police.

COLBERT: And how is the magical Po-Po man going to clean up Chi Town? Don't ask Donald.

TRUMP: (from the Factor) I could see the way that he was dealing with his people, he was a 'rough, tough guy, they respected him greatly. And I said, how do you stop this, how do you stop this? He said, Mr. Trump, I would be able to stop this in ONE WEEK. And I believed him 100%.

Colbert joked about Robocop, who cleaned up Detroit in under two hours. He rolls more video from O'Reilly

TRUMP: I sent his name in (to the Mayor) and said you should probably hire this guy.'

So let's recap here: Donald Trump claims he met a top police officer who said he could solve Chicago's crime faster than it takes to paint a house. And Trump's response was, 'thank you, I have no follow-up questions. But he was so impressed, he passed the guy's name on to the Mayor. The statement from Mayor Emanuel's office succinctly exposed the idiocy of his bright ideas.

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Credit: screengrab

Colbert cracks up when he accidentally pronounces the title of Chicago's Police Superintendent as the "Superintestent." The actual police superintendent did phrase his question in an ironic manner. He said, "If you have a magic bullet to stop the violence, let us know." Colbert couldn't resist the irony and he made comparisons to other violent crimes, like stopping knife violence by 'taking a stab at it,' or arson prevention can start with a simple command to 'fire away.' Irony aside, the Chicago P.D. never heard of this mythical meeting Trump referenced.

The Chicago PD claims that no one in official channels even spoke with Trump.

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So there's two possibilities for this discrepancy: either Trump made him up or the cop was just deep undercover as a figment of Trump's imagination. Well guess who happens to be available to discuss said 'meeting?' That very same cop, a law enforcement officer who has a moniker that is all junior high school grade-double entendre. Colbert welcomes Officer Rod Johnson, who explained how this all went down (no pun intended).

OFFICER ROD JOHNSON: I was on my way to investigate a noise disturbance and Donald Trump stopped me and he asked me how we can clean this city. I told him there are some naughty people out there that need to be in cuffs.

Noting the absence of a firearm, Colbert asks where are the guns? That sets up what you might imagine happens next. The sleeves come off and pretty much every other part of his uniform is removed and the suggestive dancing begins after Officer Johnson says, "Here are the guns. Stephen, you have the right to remain SEXY!"

Colbert gets into the sketch, and dons a feather tiara, a pink cocktail beverage and a money blaster that shoots out single dollars at the male entertainer. He bids the audience adieu with 'Donald Trump's Supercop, everybody!'

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