Samantha Bee saved herself for us and delayed her show until tonight, so she could give us her hot take on the debate. She spared no one, but saved the best for Sean Hannity and Donald Trump.
She set the stage right off the top.
"Kellyanne Conway's control collar worked for about twenty minutes. Unfortunately, it popped off once Trump tried to wedge his monstrous apricot bulk into the narrow spaces of Clinton's facts."
That more or less sums up the whole debate, doesn't it?
My favorite parts are when she burns him like a half-used charcoal briquet for being such an ignorant stupid, misogynist jerk.
Here's a taste:
Donald: I said she doesn't have the look, the stamina. To be President of this country you need tremendous stamina.
Samantha: Oh, just say penis, Don. Three-syllable words don't suit you.
Hillary got lampooned a bit, too:
Hillary: We have to do several things at the same time. We have to restore trust between the communities and the police. Everyone should be respected by the law and everyone should be -- should respect the law.
Samantha: And people say she's uninspiring! The Black Lives Matter movement must be so excited about their new t-shirts! Oh, it gives me chills.
She saved her best for later on:
Hillary: One of the worst things he said was about a woman in a beauty -- about a woman in a beauty contest. He called her Miss Piggy. Then I called her Miss Housekeeping because she's a Latina.
Donald: Where did you find her?
Samantha: Uh, in your book?
Donald: I know that person. She was a Miss Universe person and the worst we ever had. She was a Miss Universe contestant and ultimately a winner who she -- they had a tremendously difficult time with as Miss Universe. >> did not know that story. >> I didn't know it either.
Donald: She was the winner and gained a massive amount of weight and it was a real problem. We had a real problem.
Samantha: L.O.L.. No, you had a stunningly beautiful Miss Universe winner and you treated her like garbage. Now you have a real problem not only with her but with every woman who's ever been called fat. Which is all of us! [applause]
We've been dealing with you our whole life. Mr. Stamina failed at just about everything he wanted to achieve that night except maybe one thing.
You'll have to watch to see what that One Thing was.
As always, Bee delivers a refreshing and most welcome take on our bizarroland politics.