March 18, 2018

Well, the good news for Trump is that they didn't bother booking Alec Baldwin to play him tonight for SNL's cold open.

The bad news is that the skit instead was chockful of other favorites--Alex Moffat as Anderson Cooper, Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions, John Goodman as Rex Tillerson, Bill Hader as The Mooch, and Fred Armisen as "Fire and Fury" author Michael Wolff, all eager to point out the craziness that is the White House under Trump.

"Look I'm always down to clown, but this was sneaky even for me. I’m just a simple man, who wanted to make things bad for immigrants and now, here I am taking away the pension of a Christian white! It ain’t right!"

"You know, it's just crazy. One moment you're the CEO of Exxon, a $50 billion company and the next day, you're being fired by a guy who used to sell steaks by mail."

"I was the fidget spinner of the Trump White House. I made a big splash, and then one day, everybody was like, WHOA! What the hell was that about?"

"My sources say that the job [to run the FBI] is down to two candidates: One is Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke; or...the president's favorite TV detective: Monk"

The scary thing is that things are so absurd that this could actually be true by Wednesday.

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