With Trump's goons invading Democratic cities, I've been thinking about the Jade Helm conspiracy theories in 2015, where conservative hysteria, also fueled by Texas Gov Greg Abbott, was through the roof. They were absolutely certain that our country's first Black president was comin' for their guns, so they did what any rational person would do: they buried their firearms in their backyards like paranoid squirrels hoarding nuts for the apocalypse.
Military leaders characterized it as a standard training operation. Conspiracy theorists, however, knew better—this was clearly the prelude to martial law and mass civilian detention, probably in shuttered Wal-Mart stores throughout Texas because nothing says "totalitarian dystopia" quite like being imprisoned next to the clearance aisle.
The shocking conclusion? Zero guns seized. Turns out it was just a regular military operation. Who could have possibly seen that coming? (Everyone. Everyone saw that coming.)
Fast forward to 2026: Donald J. Trump is actually invading Democratic cities, Americans have been killed, and the conservative hysteria meter reads a solid zero. Turns out federal overreach is totally fine when the right people are getting roughed up. Democrats are being put in their place, according to right-wingers, and their 'place' is apparently getting shot in the face while conservatives blast "ICE, ICE, baby" in comment sections.
Funny how the Jade Helm crowd's "Don't Tread on Me" flags only apply when the treading might affect them.
I mentioned all of that to note that anything from this shitshow administration needs to be handled with skepticism. So, what's going on in El Paso?
The FAA has imposed temporary no-fly zones over El Paso, Texas, and Santa Teresa, New Mexico, banning all aerial activity in these areas for the following 10 days due to "special security reasons," as stated in a notice, ABC News reports.
According to the notice, all flight operations are prohibited starting early Wednesday morning within a 10 nautical mile radius of El Paso Airport, covering altitudes from ground level to 17,999 feet. These limitations will stay in place through Feb. 21, the notice indicated. Mexican airspace is not included in these restrictions.
In a statement to ABC News, El Paso Airport officials said, "With minimal advance warning, the FAA implemented a temporary flight restriction stopping all arrivals and departures at El Paso and the adjacent community of Santa Teresa, NM. The restriction bars all types of aircraft operations (commercial, cargo, and general aviation alike) and runs from February 10 at 11:30 PM (MST) through February 20 at 11:30 PM (MST). Airport personnel have contacted the FAA and are awaiting further instructions."
As Charlotte Clymer notes, "There has not been an air space restriction of this magnitude in the United States since 9/11," so where are the Jade Helm conspiracy theorists, eh?
She speculates that possibly Trump is about to announce major military operations against Mexican drug cartels on Mexican soil. Trump's tanking hard in the polls, so of course, he would wag the dog.
And the rest of us just want one fucking day when we can wake up without chaos, death, invasions, and just go to work like regular fucking people, and hang out with our families, and have dinner, without having to wish for the demise of a dark and dangerous clown in the White House. Just walk into the light, Donald. This is too much. This country won't last another 3 years of this clusterfuck of an administration.
Back in the day, I changed my Twitter handle to Jade Helm Commander. Conspiracy theorists (bless their hearts) were all, "We found the commander!" as if a gun-grabbing commander in a covert operation would announce herself on social media. Where are y'all now? You guys weren't even shot in the face.
Update: The Federal Aviation Administration has lifted the closure on the airspace in El Paso with no explanation.
Update: This does not explain the initial 10-day closure:
UPDATE: Holy fuckballs. A U.S. official confirmed to Fox News that the U.S. military earlier this week shot down what was later determined to be a party balloon near El Paso, Texas, after initially assessing it as a possible foreign drone.
The staggering blunder involving a party balloon eventually led to a complete shutdown of the airspace around the El Paso airport.
A U.S. official confirms to Fox News that earlier this week the U.S. military shot down a party balloon near El Paso, thinking it was a foreign drone, leading to the unexpected airspace closure. https://t.co/m4yoVSQWL0
— Liz Friden (@Liz_Friden) February 11, 2026
