— September 3, 2026

Trump made it abundantly clear to anyone watching that he quite literally can't do anything without making it super weird.

During a Rose Garden dinner event last night, the sitting President of the United States went off on a truly bizarre, unhinged rant about his fat friend and the price of Ozempic in America.

"A friend of mine, very, very heavy; he's a very obese person," Trump told the crowd. "I said, you're an extremely obese person."

He prattled on about how great this person is, "brutal" and "smart as hell," but super fat, according to Donald Trump.

He claimed that this friend called him up to complain about the price of Ozempic in the United States.

"He's begging me not to mention his name because I'll destroy his reputation," Trump rambled before going off on a bizarre side quest about how this guy used to call him "Donnie" but now calls him "President" out of respect.

"He had some fat drugs. I said, 'It's not working—you look like shit.''"

I'll give you three guesses as to how people reacted to Trump's weird rant, but I promise, you only need one:

Funnily enough, Trump's bonkers rant about his "fat friend" comes hot on the heels of recent reporting that the big guy himself is looking straight down the barrel of a "premature death" if he doesn't make a big change in his lifestyle soon, as the president has been consistently packing on the pounds throughout his second presidential term.

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