TMZ caught up to Rep Drunken Van Orden and asked him about insider trading. His comments were a bit odd, to say the least.

Rep. Derrick Van Orden told @hicharliecotton that a bunch of members of Congress shamefully use insider trading to make loads of cash, but he says Pres. Trump doesn't cross the line... pic.twitter.com/LBgiUPvM5h

— TMZ (@TMZ) September 2, 2026

First, DVO humblebragged about how much insider info he gets because of his position, but he would never do anything like that himself. But he went on like he was eager for the reporter to ask the right question so he could spill the Long Island Iced Tea on his colleagues, saying, "just look at their stock trading records."

But when the reporter brought up Donald Trump, DVO's dander would have been raised if he had any hair. He defended Trump as being squeaky clean, despite his family raking in billions of dollars during his presidency. DVO also said that the people who do Trump's trading are independent of the president, even though it's Trump's sons who do his trading for him. Yeah, real independent, aren't they?

I'm sure Trump will give DVO a pat on his bald head and an "Atta boy" at the Trump midterm convention, if DVO can stay sober enough not to pass out at the hotel bar.