Yglesias has a fairly convincing post arguing for LFO's "Summer Girls" as the worst hit song in history.
In the course of human affairs, people sometimes write bad songs. Indeed, we have no real idea how many bad songs are written and go unheard. But sometimes a really bad song becomes a widespread radio hit. And one dark summer, LFO’s “Summer Girls” was just such a song. A song that I believe to be the worst hit song ever recorded...
Matt's got a point, as these lyrics are appalling:
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
After some careful thought, this song does make it high on the list, but does not displace my longstanding titleholder, Sammy Hagar's "I Can't Drive 55".
Why is this:
When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.
And I can't get my car out of second gear.
What used to take two hours now takes all day.
Huh - It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.!
Go on & write me up for 125
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Take my license n' all that jive
I can't drive 55!
such a worse violation than "I like the girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch?"
I know I know, it's not as ostensibly tacky as LFO, but Hagar really is angry about the federally mandated 55 mph speed limit that was in effect in the 1980s (and in your humble DJ's opinion should still be), and probably feels like quite the rebellious protest singer taking a stand against such government tyranny.
If you take two equally awful songs, but one is angry and the other is happy, even celebratory, the angry one wins out for the stinker category - but barely.