Why Are Women Still Expected To 'Have It All'?

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Stop it. Just stop it now.

Who knew in a country where we are have serious debates about taking away women's access to contraceptives for others' religious freedoms and mandating that they be forced to look at the monitor while being violated by a transvaginal probe, there are still people who insist that women can "have it all"?

Frankly, I don't know what "all" is, but I'm pretty sure that no one has it. Male or female. There are only so many hours in the day and I've yet to meet anyone who can balance work, relationships, children and other activities without making serious and painful sacrifices fairly regularly. In my own life, I made the choice to sacrifice my career (and my Social Security income later in life, as I'm informed annually) to raise my kids. My husband sacrifices time at home with his kids (and often, outside interests) in order to succeed at work. But that success enables me to stay home with them. It's a trade-off I personally question occasionally (especially when the kids are being bratty), but works for us.

But seriously, after three or four 'waves' of feminism (or whatever it's been now), we're still having this conversation that posits that somehow women--and women only--should aspire to it "all"? Why? Why these impossible standards to which we never hold men? When was the last time a male politician was asked whether he should run with a young child at home?

Or write articles on their clothes?

Or their hairstyles?

Or whether they should consider plastic surgery?

So let's just agree to stop. "Having it all" isn't possible. And it's unfair to hold women to that impossible standard.


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