December 20, 2013

Stephen Colbert couldn't pass up an opportunity to weigh in on the latest bit of nonsense to be dominating our airways these days and wondered how A&E was going to get by if the dust up over Duck Dynasty's patriarch's comments to GQ might cause them to lose their "massive black and gay audience."

On The Colbert Report, Colbert donned a fake beard and declared, "Tonight we are all Phil Robertson."

Colbert read one of Robertson's GQ quotes: "It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me. I'm just thinking: There's more there!"

"It's not the eloquent speech you might expect from a backwoods Louisiana bird murderer, but he does have a point. The vagina does have 'more there,' " Colbert said.

Noting Robertson's supporters are defending him on religious grounds, Colbert read from a fake Bible verse: "Man shall not live on bread alone because with the vagina there's more there."

He also singled out Robertson's comments about the Jim Crow era, in which the Duck Dynasty star said African-Americans were happy and not "singing the blues."

"Black people had nothing to sing the blues about. For Pete's sake, they had their own water fountains!" Colbert said. Showing a picture of an actor in blackface, he added: "They had it so good, white people pretended to be them."

Colbert concluded by saying he feels sorry for Duck Dynasty network A&E.

"With this controversy, they may have lost Duck Dynasty's massive black and gay audience."

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