Ted Nugent. Honey, you could not clean him up with a Brillo Pad.

Before I show you his latest doctoral thesis, I want to remind you that Ted Nugent is the campaign treasurer for Sid Miller, the festering piece of ignorant goofy running for agriculture commissioner in Texas. Miller is creepy.

But that’s not all. Ted Nugent, who admits to sex with underaged girls, says he is a “blood brother” to Greg Abbott.

In a joint campaign appearance Tuesday at Mexican restaurant in Denton, it was Nugent who referred to Abbott as his “blood brother,” and not the other way around.

Abbott called Nugent “a fighter for freedom in this country.”

Oh yeah, let’s compare Ted Nugent to Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi. Yeah, that works.Why stop there? Give the man a book and call him Einstein. Give him some scissors and call him Coco Chanel. Give him a spoon and call him Julia Child. I don’t give a damn. You still couldn’t clean him up with a double geared diesel fueled power washer.

So, now we get to Nugent’s plans on how to commemorate 911. Prepare yourself. This come straight from his Facebook Page.

Holy venison chili, what the hell is wrong with that man? “Killemall”? Really? Is Greg Abbott going to appoint Nugent Texas Secretary of State if he gets to be Governor? Seriously, y’all, we have one. The current one is the wife of raging homophobia and confederate flag lover Michael Berry. I mean, nobody would be shocked if the next one is Ted Nugent.

Do not go outside on 911. I’m going to try to infiltrate and find out what The Mark of the Nugent is so we can put it on our front doors. I’m far more scared of Ted Nugent and his 8,588 shares than I am of anybody else.

You could not clean him up with a nuclear Dyson vacuum cleaner and a carton of Swiffers.