RECAP: The Strain Season 1 Episode 10, 'The Loved Ones'
September 14, 2014

The Strain Season 1 Episode 10, ‘The Loved Ones’

This episode was a grabber, wasn’t it? Felt like it just barfed some weird snaky bloodsucking appendage at my throat and just held on. You know, metaphorically speaking. But hey, while we’re talking about disgusting, wet, rippling, snaky bloodsucking appendages! They’re making quite the dramatic appearance in this episode. Gone are the party tricks of previous episodes, in which you notice they’re too dumb to recognize glass. We are thoroughly moving on.

Here’s what happened to these people this week:

ZACH remains the only one selflessly concerned with Kelly’s whereabouts. At the episode’s open, he’s poking around with a pawned laptop and some incredibly annoying Internet (way to go, Hacker Babe—next time kill the internet or don’t, intermittent internet as a plot device is almost as irritating as the actual phenomenon) trying to find Kelly. Her iphone is somewhere in Brooklyn! It’s moving! Now it’s not moving! She’s not returning calls! Uh oh, this doesn’t bode well. Actually we should just move right on to what happens to . . .

KELLY! Oh Kelly. I cared so much about where you might be and I had so much emotionally invested in your relationship with Eph. I’d be in the middle of my workday thinking, “Gosh, I really hope Eph and Kelly can work it out. It’s such a shame. He really loves her, you can tell by the way he keeps disappearing and humping his co-worker. She obviously loves him too, you can tell by the way she moved another guy in and constantly tells Eph to fuck off. I sure hope they make it!” SPOILER ALERT: DURING A FIGHT WITH INFECTED MATT, KELLY GETS A WORM RIGHT IN THE EYEBALL. I actually clapped my hands with actual delight when I saw my favorite disgusting billboard brought to life. Told in a series of flashbacks (to yesterday, not to 1944 Poland), Kelly’s turning slowly reveals: first she’s a little sick, then she’s very sick, she’s obsessed with finding her son, she finds Diane who’s switched to red wine and Diane’s son and oh what the hell, eats them both, then she wanders around Queens slack-jawed and grunting until the Master calls her to his subterranean lair. He has plans for her! He advises her to rejoice and embrace her glorious fate. Can’t wait to see what that is! I hope she gets all her motor skills back, ala Herr Eichort.

EPH levels a half-hearted apology at Nora before trotting off in search of Kelly. He wanders around the Brooklyn vicinity of Kelly’s phone until he finds it in the possession of one of the cleanest homeless people in the world and barters doctorin’ for some information about where Kelly might be. That was almost as boring to type as it was to watch. He eventually makes his way to Diane’s, where he finds Diane has given up both drinking wine and always yelling at him. Cause she’s a vampire now, see? Her son is one too. His growl is pretty adorable but Eph just shoots him in the head anyway, because all this business has hardened his heart. (He also shoots Diane, bye Diane.) Eph comes to the sad, painful, tragic, terrible, horrible, super extra sad realization that if all of Kelly’s loved ones are turned—dumb ole Matt, tough-talkin’ wine-swillin’ Diane, and the random kid too—Kelly’s most likely done for as well. Eph consoles/distracts himself from this sad, sad possibility by going back to the pawn shop and being a giant asshole to Dutch and Fet. They are definitely the ones you want to alienate! Good going, Eph.

EVERYONE ELSE hangs out at the Knickerbocker for a while talking about how their degree is finally coming in handy (Fet) or maybe they turned the internet off and maybe they can turn it back on but they have to go vanquish Eldritch Palmer in order to be able to do that (why, Dutch? I’m confused. Just grab a laptop and fix the damn Internet.)
Of course, Dutch and Fet take a senseless trip to Palmer’s during which pretty much nothing happens except that Palmer orders them killed but his lackey refuses to do it. They go back to the Knickerbocker where, as mentioned, Eph is a dick and tells Dutch to scram. Fet, of course, leaps to Hacker Babe’s defense. It’s possible that we are supposed to believe that some kind of love connection/alliance is forming between Fet and Dutch, but nah, I used up all my believing in unlikely pairings on Sons Of Anarchy’s Jax and Tara.

Speaking of couples that make very little sense, Nora’s mom disapproves of Eph as her daughter’s love interest. Nora’s mom is the Shakespearean fool of the bunch, always speaking the truth while everyone around is like “Be quiet, you silly old lady, and drink your tea and also shut up forever.” Nora isn’t doing much this ep other than admonishing her mother, standing around brooding, worrying and still pouting about Eph’s declarations of love for Kelly. Not for long Nora! I sense a dance off in your future!

Speaking of the future, see you then!


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