Jeb Bush Gets A Last-Minute Callback From The Producers
'I'm the greatest star, I am by far, but no one knows it!"Credit:
April 21, 2015

Isn't this exciting? Just yesterday, we thought the Kochs had picked their pet dog Scotty as the male lead in their new production of The White House: 2016! This is just like in "Smash" when Karen got the lead in Bombshell and broke poor hardworking chorus girl Ivy's heart. But then Karen decided to accept the lead in Hit List and Ivy got to play the part of Marilyn Monroe, after all. (And both shows won Grammies -- but Ivy beat out Karen for Best Actress in A Musical!)

Except Scott Walker and Jeb Bush can't really sing -- although they both sure can tapdance for the Koch brothers!

It's been a while since we've checked in on how American politics is thriving within the Doom Loop of Oligarchy (TM Ezra Klein!), but a fresh dispatch from Politico's Mike Allen offers us another opportunity to goggle at the slow-motion death of American exceptionalism. The issue at hand, as ever, is the ruling class of billionaires who fund our presidential campaign dumb-show. More specifically, it's the Brothers Koch, who have an assignment for former Florida governor and presidential hopeful Jeb Bush. Per Allen:

In another surprise, a top Koch aide revealed to POLITICO that Jeb Bush will be given a chance to audition for the brothers’ support, despite initial skepticism about him at the top of the Kochs’ growing political behemoth.

Mr. Bush will be expected to perform a two-minute classical monologue about tax cuts, a two-minute comic monologue about tax cuts, and 32 bars of a contemporary Broadway musical ballad about union-busting.

This is good news for Jeb, I guess. As Allen notes, the last time the Kochs cooked up an audition, it was at their "winter seminar" in January, and according to those present, Florida Sen. Marco Rubio was the clear standout at that confab. But Bush will be getting "a second look" at the brothers' summer conference, because "so many Koch supporters think he looks like a winner."

Of course, as New York's Jonathan Chait points out, it was only yesterday that the Kochs "signaled" that their favorite in the race was Wisconsin governor (andhistorically over-eager Koch amanuensis) Scott Walker. Looks like we got some drama, y'all!

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