July 7, 2015

Fox's diminutive wannabe comedian and The Five co-host, Greg Gutfeld wants their viewers to be very afraid of that "crazy" socialist Bernie Sanders and cut loose on him during a little rant on this Tuesday's show.

Nothing like a huge heaping helping of projection of what trickle-down economics has actually done to the pocketbooks of most average Americans and having the gall to compare Paul Krugman to Jeffrey Dahmer. This is apparently what passes for "humor" in "conservative" circles.

GUTFELD: So the problem with Donald Trump, he's a businessman whose decided to be a politician. Business teaches you to speak your mind. Politics tell you to do the opposite. In business you sell a product. In politics you sell yourself.

Which is why Bernie Sanders is a good politician. It's all he does. He's been running for office since 1972, affording him the luxury of selling an ideology that never required purchase.

Socialism, a harmless thing until it finds real power. Then it's deadly. For if he could, Bernie would gladly turn America into Greece, or worse Venezuela, where toilet paper rolls are emptier than Athens' ATMs.

This dope once adored the Sandinistas, a toxic bunch of commies. Sanders is so nutty, most kids should be allergic to him. So why does the media overlook this? The press loves the guy because they assume his bad ideas may never see the light of day, but one can dream.

He wants to raise the tax rate for top earners to more than 50 percent. That's the highest in thirty years after the worst recovery in history. His goal is not to get America back on its feet, but to put it under for good. He wants free tuition for colleges, a great idea if you think money grows on bongs. He said he'd hire Paul Krugman for his cabinet, which is like hiring Jeffrey Dahmer as your chef.

He applauded Greece's no vote, which is like applauding two lovers as they jump off a tall building, which really is socialism, a leap that always ends badly. Inevitably you just run out of cash, just like you run out of distance between roof and sidewalk.

The rest of them took turns chiming in as well on how horrified they were that he wants to raise taxes, how terrible it is that Hillary Clinton is going to be pushed to the left, while simultaneously attacking her voting record for being as liberal as Sanders', and calling Sanders "Obamacare on steroids."

Fox's lonely sole faux "liberal" Juan Williams finally got a chance to talk, and jumped the lot of them for wanting to build Sanders up before the huge crowds started showing up and attacking him now that he looks like a serious contender for the nomination. He also reminded them that Social Security and Medicare are socialism and asked if any of them would be willing to give either of them up, to which Gutfeld responded "Yes."

Spoken like a man who knows he'll never have to rely on either of them, or assumes he won't. I mean this in the nicest way when I say may he find himself bankrupt and reliant on both in his old age, bless his heart.

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