October 6, 2015

I know Steve Doocy has a tendency to be a little silly and lighthearted, hell, he's one of the three smiling faces on the Curvy Couch, also known as the Giggling Couch Tumors™. But even I expected a little more seriousness when addressing the current GOP front runner, Dr. Ben Carson. Doocy actually asked him if he was going to Chuck E. Cheese after the show to celebrate his bump in the polls.

The three stooges on the couch notice that nothing seems to get Carson excited, as his calm, cool composure always dominates his presence. When they show his latest poll numbers, with the ex-surgeon on top, Carson says,

'polls seem to go up and down, and I don't get too excited over them.'

Doocy interjects,

'You don't get too excited over anything!'

Carson celebrates the fact that he is NOT the establishment candidate, because, what has that gotten us? A ton of debt, he laments, and 'both sides of the aisle' are responsible. How refreshing! Another both siderist proclaiming total fallacy as fact. I'd get more excited, but at this point, the sound of Carson's tranquil voice is making me unusually sleepy.

Hasselbeck tries to spark some electricity from Ben regarding Hillary Clinton's audacious plan to actually do something about the regular gun massacres that plague this nation. Hasselbeck asks,

'What disturbs you most about the plan that she put forward?'

In response to that, Carson soothingly states,

'With all of these gun control plans, I'm a very reasonable person, I don't get in the corner and just...stonewall. If you're going to show me how that's going to stop these things, I'm willing to listen to it. Anything that they've proposed isn't going to stop these things...The Second Amendment is extremely important. Daniel Webster said, America is never going to suffer tyranny because Americans are armed...'

So essentially, he has absolutely no plan. He wants us to categorize these people better, and Brian Kilmeade adds, 'without stigmatizing them.' We can't stigmatize people who are about to annihilate a slew of innocent people. Because that would take away our freedom, by golly.

Doocy expertly concludes that Hillary is politicizing this tragedy. Carson, with a moment of slightly more enthusiasm than his usual pillow-talk voice, said, 'Really?' The politicians certainly won't let a good crisis go to waste, Doocy reminds Carson. Carson said he would be different.

They discuss how newspaper publisher, David Jaques in Roseburg, Oregon, home of the Sandy Hook hoaxer Sheriff (John Hanlin), disparaged President Obama's decision to visit the site of the Umpqua Community College massacre. The publisher of a local newspaper claims that President Obama is not welcome there, because he is 'politicizing' something that should have been handled politically a long time ago. Of course, Carson is a non-interventionist, sit back and let shit happen (or stuff, if you're Jeb!) kind of guy. Dr. Ben proclaimed that, if he were president, his agenda would not allow for such a trip, and 'would go to the next one.' Hmmm, I wonder if he means the next mass shooting aftermath?

He pensively asks,

'Why don't people understand that this is a country of, for and by the people?'

That's a good question coming from someone who favors the rich paying lower taxes while the poor pay far more than their fair share.

The Giggling Couch Tumors, especially the sanctimonious Hasselbeck, couldn't wait to talk about Carson's 'Christian' faith, which is, more specifically, the 7th Day Adventist Christian cult, and he advocates all sorts of crazy ideas. He calls the theory of evolution, the work of 'The Adversary' (aka Satan) and eschews the teaching of evolutionary science altogether. Although he allegedly has a medical degree from the University of Michigan, he is an ardent believer in God did all this majesty in six days Creationism. Yikes!!

ICYMI, Carson is a really great Christian. He said so. Credit: Fox and Friends Screen Shot

Our societal woes could easily be solved if we stopped straying from our Judeo-Christian roots. Carson doesn't understand,

'why are we so busy trying to give away our Judeo-Christian identity for political correctness?'

He would never politicize anything for his personal gain, but he sees no problem favoring one particular religion over all the others, or none at all. At the same time, he is running for the highest POLITICAL office in the land, but never fear, he won't get political.

He's a big fan of the Founding Fathers and the Constitution, while ignoring one of the most important premises in the framing of the Constitution. It's okay, he's a Christian, the Establishment Clause doesn't apply to him. Besides, he has the great Creator on his side, while opportunists like Hillary Clinton and President Obama are doing the work of the Adversary; because they both want government to lead the way in ending senseless gun massacres.

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