This Just Ain't Ted Cruz's Day
October 21, 2015

Well, you know how bad I’d feel if anything unfortunate happened to Ted Cruz. I mean, here’s this Super DeLux Brand Christian Man O’ God who everybody just picks on.

Take the FEC for example. They released the information that caused this headline in the Washington Post:

Now, if you’re wondering what psychographic profiling is and why it costs $750,000, it does voter personality profiling.

Cambridge Analytica aims to increase the accuracy of micro-targeting by adding “psychographic analysis” to widely available demographic data. Potential voters who look much the same on paper — a 35-year-old white woman from Iowa, for example — may have very different personalities that make them care about different things and respond to different political messages, according to Nix.

So what Ted is going to do is gather all the information he can on you, put it in data form, and pay a mathematical witchdoctor to tell hm what to say to you. Everything Republicans claim to hate.

The good news for us: (Click the little one to get the big one.)

It ain’t working worth diddle squat. Cruz remains at 4% behind the other Bible Thumper, Mike Huckabee. Huckabee has probably spent $1.98 total.

Then, his former employer George W Bush went all wacky weed on Ted.

Fox News reported

Former President George W. Bush reportedly ripped into Texas Sen. Ted Cruz at a weekend gathering of donors to his brother’s presidential campaign, according to a published report Monday.Politico reported that Bush said of Cruz, “I just don’t like the guy,” at the event, which was held Sunday night in Denver.

Bush said that he didn’t like the way Cruz was all palsey-wowsey with Trump and added that he is refusing to paint a portrait of Cruz’s feet in the bathtub. Okay, so I made up that last part. So sue me.

They say things come in threes and, hell, it’s only noon!

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