May 10, 2016

Welp, C&Lers, I've been warning for a while now that the apocalypse is upon us, and now just in time for Memorial Day Weekend, Anheuser Busch has announced that they are renaming the beer formerly known as Budweiser (No, I don't think it's a Prince tribute) to the name....



With the backdrop of the Olympics and a comically botched election, this summer is bound to be what Ricardo Marques, a vice president from Budweiser, calls "maybe the most American summer ever."

So Budweiser is going to potentially ingenious, potentially absurd branding extremes. The company has kept the same can you already know, but when you look closely, you’ll realize that it has swapped out its own name, "Budweiser," for "America."

Because the summer of 2016 is clearly the best time ever, America, to drink...yourself.

And yes, it tastes just like a cold mug of (insert analogy containing the terms "piss" "river" "dog" "fizzy" "socks" "smelt" and/or "diaper.")

It's the perfect beverage to drink while wearing your KFC chicken flavored nail polish. See you in hell!

The name change will remain in effect until the election. Coincidence? Oh my god you guys what if Trump's entire campaign has just been a wacky viral marketing campaign for this stupid beer?

We should be so lucky.


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