FEC: We Don't Care If You Are God, You're Still Gonna Need ID
September 3, 2016

The Federal Elections Commission ain’t about to suffer fools gladly.

They sent God a letter. By the way, he lives on Staten Island at this prestigious location, right next to Beach Bum Tanning Salon.

Well, so much for that omnipresent thing.

The FEC has doubts that God is a candidate for office and acting as his own campaign treasurer. You can see their questions for yourownself in this PDF.

Yeah, and Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen told me, “Identical letters were sent to Satan and Jesus Christ. And Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Captain Crunch, the Ghost of Ronald Reagan, Deez Nuts, etc.”

I don’t know if that’s true because, you know, Alfredo drinks a little. But he usually gets things right.

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