December 15, 2016

John Harwood (the reporter above) is having a bad day. I mean, he is the Senior Washington correspondent for CNBC. He's covered Washington for over 40 years. He's been a Nieman Fellow at Harvard University.

And now he has to talk about Donald Trump's twitter feud with Vanity Fair. Over a restaurant review.

Meanwhile, Trump's transition spokesman Sean Spicer says the PEOTUS is too busy picking out a cabinet to have a press conference, presumably ever.

But here at Crooks and Liars we're never ever too busy to read Vanity Fair, especially when they are writing about Trump Grill(e) (the 'e' is there sometimes, sometimes not, because one has to cater to Donald's mood?) and saying it "could be the worst restaurant in America."

As my companions and I contemplated the most painless way to eat our flaccid, gray Szechuan dumplings with their flaccid, gray innards, as a campy version of “Jingle Bells” jackhammered in the background, a giant gold box tied with red ribbon toppled onto us. Trump, it seemed, was already fighting against the War on Christmas.

...The restaurant features a stingy number of French-ish paintings that look as though they were bought from Home Goods. Wall-sized mirrors serve to make the place look much bigger than it actually is. The bathrooms transport diners to the experience of desperately searching for toilet paper at a Venezuelan grocery store.

It goes on. And on.

Donald apparently had time to read this review, and tweet about it. ( "Trump Grill" and the article are trending bigly.)

Graydon Carter? That name rings a bell. He's the guy who, along with Kurt Andersen, coined the term "short-fingered vulgarian" for Donald Trump back in the Spy Magazine days. He's also the author of such current articles as "The Good, The Bad, and The Short-Fingered," and "Look Upon My Short Fingers, Ye Mighty, and Despair!"

Recent quote from Graydon Carter: “I’m sure he wants to kill me—with those little hands.”

It's not as if the Vanity Fair review could have come as a shock to Donald. New York Eater's review earlier this year was entitled "Diving Head First into Donald Trump's Culinary Abyss" and was just as bad.

Editors here at C&L are thinking maybe Trump is really mad about this other Vanity Fair article from last week, which reviews in ugly detail just how much of an empty, soulless liar Trump was even back in the Marla Maples dead-broke bailed out days.

In any event, you can be sure Graydon Carter, "no talent," isn't "on his way out." And bonus, he's having a much better day than John Harwood.

And then there's this. Solution-based thinking!

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