In the "You Cannot Be Serious" category, Louis Voldemort Gohmert asserted FBI Agent Stzrok was lying under oath because he had an affair.
July 12, 2018

You know, I could talk about glass houses. I could talk about hypocrisy. I could talk about decorum. What about "civility," should I go there?

Too many things. Too many things wrong with this entire bullshit hearing to count, but the be all and end all so far has got to be unhinged Rep. Louis Gohmert, who I guarantee, cos-plays Voldemort in his spare time.

He flat out accused FBI Agent Peter Stzrok of lying under oath to Congress, and to support his claim, asked how many times he looked into his wife's eyes and lied to her about the affair he was having with his co-worker, Lisa Page.

Now, rather than talk about the bizarre theatrics that comprised the run-up and aftermath of that *cough* climactic moment (you can watch the clip yourself,) let me pose the obvious question:

Does that mean everyone who has every had an affair in their personal life is lying when they are under oath about everything else?

And, if I may follow up, how well does that bode for the President whose dimpled ass they lick with abandon? Even better, how well does that bode for, say, the members of Congress licking said dimpled ass?

Asking for a friend of the Republic.

GOHMERT: You have come in here and said I had no bias. And you do it with a straight face and I watched you in the private testimony you gave. And I told some of the other guys, he is really good. He's lying, he knows we know he's lying, and he could probably pass a polygraph.

CICILLINE: Mr. Chairman --

GOHMERT: This is my time. Mr. Chairman

GOODLATTE: It needs to be paused.

CICILLINE: Point of order.

GOODLATTE: The gentleman will state his point of order.

CICILLINE: A member of this committee just asserted that this witness, who is under oath and a former agent of the FBI lied. There is no evidence of that and I ask him to withdraw it.

GOHMERT: I do not withdraw it. He is not a member of Congress. It's not a violation of the rule and just as you have been expressing bias through your members about what a hero he is...

CICILLINE: There isn't a single person on this committee who has characterized a witness as a liar.

GOHMERT: It's my time.

GOODLATTE: The gentleman from Rhode Island will suspend.

GOHMERT: No, the disgrace is what this man has done to our justice...

GOODLATTE: The gentleman from Texas will suspend for a moment.

GOHMERT: There is a disgrace and it won't be recaptured any time soon because of the damage you've done to the justice system. And I've talked to FBI agents around the country. You've embarrassed them. You've embarrassed yourself and I can't help but wonder when I see you looking there with a little smirk how many times did you look so innocent into your wife's eye and lie to her about Lisa...

CICILLINE: Mr. Chairman, this is outrageous.

GOHMERT: The credibility of a witness is always the issue.

HERO WONDERWOMAN REP: Mr. Chairman, please!

UNIDENTIFIED REP, POSSIBLY GHOST OF JOSEPH WELCH: Shame on you! Have you no decency?

REP. CICILLINE: Mr. Chairman, this is intolerable harassment of the witness.

HERO WONDERWOMAN REP: What is wrong with that? Do you need your medication?

GOODLATTE: The gentleman controls the time.

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