October 3, 2018

Big Tough Guy Lindsey Graham went on CNN yesterday to tell over half the nation that they can pound sand if they disagree with him.

"If you don't like me working with President Trump to make the world a better place," said Lindsey, "I don't give a shit."

Steve Schmidt was unimpressed and whatever you may think of Schmidt, when it comes to ripping into members of his former party, he is not shy.

Pronouncing Graham a "titanic fraud," Schmidt went on to describe him as "the type of man who likes motorcycles but lacks the upper body strength to control one and thus is consigned to the side car."

OUCH.

He wasn't finished, but instead went on a roll.

"His ludicrous affectation and faux outrage at the hearings was a moment of beclownment that knows no equal," he wrote. "He is a political careerist and an unequaled sycophant when it comes to finding favor with power."

Conclusion: "He is a disgrace."

But even after that, he wasn't finished. No, those first tweets were from late last night. A few hours ago, he launched Round 2, once again deploying the "man in the sidecar" imagery.

"Strapped in his sidecar, his teeth gritted and his eyes fixed adoringly on the small hands of the grifter working the throttle, he see’s two American heroes, Trump and his faithful sidekick working to make the world better with their smears, cruelty and just plain idiocy," Schmidt ranted.

If it wasn't so perfect, it wouldn't be as delicious. But Lindsey Graham really is the hanger-on, looking for the strong man to hitch his wagon (or his sidecar) to. It was John McCain and now it's Donald Trump.

Protip for Lindsey: Burying your nose in Trump's butt isn't going to make this world a better place, but it will take a toll on your looks.

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