Mueller is throwing fastballs like Noah Syndegaard, and trump is swinging like a third-grader. Our dear leader has no idea how to get out of this mess, and his going to Argentina gives him less of an opportunity to spin. God, I love Mueller's timing.

Before he boarded Air Force One, though, Mango Mussolini gave a 9-minute interview to reporters gathered on the lawn. He spent a large part of that time discussing how he was a genius for being able to run a campaign and run a business at the same time, and how perfectly okay it was for him to do both. After all, what might he do if he lost the election? He needed something to fall back on, you understand. Why should he miss out on these opportunities?

Here's the thing. We know when he says things like, "Just because I was running for president doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to do business," he's wrong. HE knows he's wrong. That is why he lied about it, insisting repeatedly throughout the campaign that he had no business ties to Russia.

We know when he says things like, "We had a position to do the deal, possibly, I decided not to do it," he's lying. He stated no fewer than FIVE TIMES in less than 2 minutes' time that HE decided not to do the Moscow deal. It harkens back to just last week when he announced proudly (again, like a third-grader) that HE was the one who had written all his answers to the questions Mueller's team asked him. Someone give that man a cookie.

We know when he says things like, "After I won, obviously that means I don't do business, from January 20th," he's lying. It's right there in his words. He won in November 2016. He was sworn in on January 20, 2017.

And he wants you to be SURE to note that "There would be nothing wrong if I DID do it," meaning the deal in Moscow. Awwww. That's adorable. So why is everyone associated with this deal that YOU allegedly turned down under indictment?

As it turns out, it was actually Michael Cohen who was working to get the Trump Tower deal done with the Russians, while it was Felix Sater who was working to get the trump presidency deal done with the Russians.

Just to take his mind off his problems, though, the Tangerine Twatwaffle is tweeting about how corrupt Hillary Clinton is. Are we great, yet?