Speculation went into overdrive, as conflicting messages came from every direction about why the vice-president's trip to New Hampshire was suddenly cancelled.
July 2, 2019

Some of us dared to hope that... well, never mind.

During the noon-time hour, East Coast time, reports started coming out that Mike Pence's plane had been turned around in midair to return to the White House for an "emergency." Very soon after, White House journalists reported there was nothing whatsoever to be concerned about regarding either Donald's or the vice-president's health. Neither, however, were there any reports illuminating the reason for the abrupt cancellation of Pence's planned trip to New Hampshire to attend an event supporting survivors of opioid addiction, and the Granite Recovery Center.

Later, Marc Short, Pence's Chief of Staff, said his plane never actually took off. The vice-president had boarded the plane, but it hadn't left yet when he'd been called back to the WH for the apparent emergency that was also apparently no cause for alarm. Even Fox "News" was confused:

“Vice President Pence’s abrupt decision Tuesday to abandon plans to fly to New Hampshire for an opioid event — and instead return to the White House — has prompted confusion and conflicting statements from members of his team, as administration officials refused to divulge the reason for the last-minute change,” Fox News, which daily runs interference for the Trump administration, was forced to report.

So, nothing to see here? Well, as Evan Hurst of Wonkette so astutely states, "It would be irresponsible NOT to wildly speculate!"

We here at C&L had our own ideas. Mike forgot his hair gel? There was a woman on the plane who was NOT Mother? Trump needed him to order Jill Ellis to bench Megan Rapinoe? The possibilities are endless. Here are some of my faves from Wonkette:

  • Maybe it is actually the apocalypse.
  • Maybe Trump got stuck on the toilet and the jaws of life couldn't get to the White House (there was a tank in the way) and for those few minutes of seismic grunting and chafing and incessant complaining, America did not have a president.
  • Maybe Trump's very science-y scientists realized that Pence's flight path was going to go over some windmills, the kind that cause cancer, and Pence wanted to avoid them out of extreme caution, in case they might also blow him and turn him gay.

From actual Twitter:

@KragoX just went ahead and ran with the whole Trump is actually dying, wait, Trump is dead thing.

It's funny/outrageous/sob-inducing because...

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