November 14, 2020

Any day Elie Mystal launches into a Jane Goodall impression is a good day by me. The Nation's justice correspondent was mystified by the MAGA cult marching in Washington, DC today in support of their "Leader," who cares nothing about them at all.

Tiffany Cross and Jason Johnson discussed their concerns that the neo-nazis who hoard weapons and openly hate minorities might not allow a peaceful transition of power in January. Cross asked Mystal what he made of these people who operate completely untethered to reality. She said, "Elie, what do you make of so many people showing up to defy what has clearly been a confirmed victory by Joe Biden? These are people saying, we refuse to accept the reality of what we're seeing," after having noted that there was a decent-sized crowd that had gathered in DC to march.

Mystal validated their completely justified worries, and still offered a different take, working in a Jane Goodall reference for good measure.

MYSTAL: Yeah. Well, reality doesn't care if they accept it or not. Right? They lost. They're going to keep losing. As the Big Lebowski says, "The bums lost!" And so, I'm not really — I'm concerned for the reasons why Jason said, but I don't forget the fact that these people are fundamentally a joke. These aren't serious people. These are members of a cult. I feel a little bit like I'm Jane Goodall watching people in the mist. Right? "Here, we see the North American Maga Bro in all of its idiot glory. Their leader has left them for greener pastures, yet still they march, almost mindlessly."

Trump drove by that parade to go golf! His entire election results, lawsuit strategy is a grift to make money for his campaign, and these people give it to him. I refuse, I refuse to let these people take my joy having defeated them for at least the next four years. I refuse to let them take my joy. March all they want. I hope they get frostbite.

Here's the difference, though. Jane Goodall respected and adored the apes she studied for their intelligence and ability to adapt, and it grew to be wholly mutual. I'd bet anyone an egg cream that you cannot say the same for Mystal and the MAGA crowd. For one thing, these Trumpers are showing the exact opposite of intelligence and ability to adapt. And I don't think I need to spell out why they aren't fans of Elie Mystal.

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