April 4, 2022

I'll be honest: I can't stand Bill Maher. Like most libertarians, he's a lazy, kneejerk contrarian, and I stopped watching him long ago.

But this week's New Rules segment left no doubt which side he's ultimately on

"Finally, new rule: The Fox News editors who each week highlight one thing I say about the Democrats that fits their narrative and then completely ignores all the sh*t I say about Republican might want to go ahead and turn the TV off right now, because we are now only seven months away from midterm elections that are poised to make the Republicans much more powerful, so attention must be paid to where the Republican party is right now.

He quotes John Kasich saying that the GOP had "a fever and it's going to break."

"But it didn't break and it's not a fever, it's more like a tumor. And tumors don't go away, they get worse. Normal Republican crazy, where you just shoot guns at things you don't like in your campaign ads, even that sh*t doesn't even cut it anymore. The new crop are such a bunch of foaming at the mouth Kraken releasers that Clarence Thomas wants to marry them."

He listed the greatest hits of 2010 Republicans, and segued into the present.

"For all of you who get frustrated because Manchin and Sinema don't vote like true liberals -- because they never were, or think Trump is as bad as it's going to get, remember the first rule of modern Republican politics: They always go lower, because this party has no bottom.

"The kooky Republicans of the 2010 era wouldn't even make the cut today for extremism, and the ones today aren't even as bad as the ones in the wings. Wait until you see the incoming group of Facebook uncles, crazy Karens and submental sh*t posters coming up.

"Herschel Walker, senate candidate in Georgia who freely admits he has a dozen personalities, none of whom you'd want to sit next to at a wedding, recently came out against evolution, saying 'Science said man came from apes. If that's true, why are there still apes? Think about it.' "

He also talked about one of C&L's favorite whack jobs, Michelle Fiore.

"Nevada state treasurer candidate Michelle Fiore is called Lady Trump and has some interesting policy ideas like, quote, 'arming young hot little girls on campus so they can kill rapists.' Maybe they can start a sorority, Delta Busta Kappa."

He listed several more, asking, "What are they serving at the Republican convention these days, bath salts?"

"If the GOP still had a platform, which they don't, but if they did, it would be 'F*ck you.' You think the Republicans of 2010 were kooks? This crowd looked at those people like, "Please, those people have never even masturbated on a subway."

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