The big joke of the week was that Felon Trump and his little MAGA followers were going to be a gentler, kinder, type of fascist and that they were going to join hands and sing "Kumbaya" with everyone. But those expectations were just too much to expect from insurrectionist Representative Drunken Van Orden.

On Tuesday, he assaulted a young woman who was part of CODEPINK and then accused her of beating him up. Police did detain the woman and got her out of the situation and then later released her, saying that there was no evidence that she did anything wrong.

But that didn't stop DVO from lying about the incident and trying to show off his imaginary machismo:

But Van Orden on Wednesday told a crowd of Wisconsin Republicans that he has "been hit harder from air coming out of a blow dryer." Still, he called on people who commit "political violence" to be "prosecuted to the greatest extent of the law."

Asked by the Journal Sentinel this week what injuries he sustained, Van Orden said the 24-year-old woman "hip-checked me into cement." He said his hip hurt but noted he is "in pain all the time."

"Is that because of her or because of me?" he said of the pain in his hip. "I don't know, and I don't care."

Perhaps Wisconsin's Drunken Uncle hurt his hip when he parachuted onto the beaches of Normandy during a D-Day cosplay with some fellow Republican lawmakers.

With his stunt, DVO did manage two things. He got his fellow criminal MAGAts riled up enough to leave death threats to CODEPINK. And he also picked up a couple of ethics charges. CODEPINK also filed an open records request for the police camera footage. With any amount of luck, DVO might also when a civil lawsuit and - dare we hope?: - even more cirminal charges.

DVO must have been hitting the hard stuff pretty heavily during the week because he decided to get into a pissing match with Cavalier Johnson, the mayor of Milwaukee. Yep, you guessed it. He lost that one, too.

“This [is] unfortunately not the total picture of what takes place in Milwaukee. This place has the potential to be a world-class, awesome city that it should be, but unfortunately Cavalier Johnson has done a horrible job running this place. That’s factual,” Van Orden continued, citing poor reading levels at some Milwaukee schools.

In response, Johnson pointed to Van Orden’s attendance at the "Save America" rally before the Jan. 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol.

"I hope that Mr. Van Orden’s visit to Milwaukee was more memorable than his visit to the United States Capitol on January 6th,” Johnson said.

In Milwaukee, the mayor has nothing to do with the school system, which is run by the independently elected Milwaukee School Board. And like any other city, there are some schools that are doing well and some that aren't. We call the bad ones "charter schools" and "private schools."

However, DVO reserved his most spectacular fail for the end of the week when he attacked fellow MAGAt, Matt Gaetz:

Rep. Derrick Van Orden (R-WI) jumped on the social media bandwagon Thursday when he ripped Rep. Matt Gaetz's appearance during his Republican National Convention speech the night before.

"RNC debuts first AI-powered inflatable sex doll to speak at a national convention," Van Orden wrote.

When a fellow conservative criticized DVO for dividing the GOP while they're trying to unite, DVO responded that he wasn't dividing the party, but culling them. In other words, he's taken it upon himself to decide who passes his purity test and whether they should remain.

Y'know, I just don't see him getting a lot of support from the party for his re-election.