New Jobs Plan: Give Rich People Everything They Want And Pray They Don't Go Galt

Hoo lordy, Brian Beutler has done us all a grand service today by actually asking Republicans what sacrifices, if any, the rich should make to close the deficit. The answers, as you'd imagine, are quite comical. Here are some of the choicer morsels:

"Millionaires can contribute to deficit reduction by spending part of their millions," said Sen. John McCain (R-AZ). "I agree with the Wall Street Journal editorial this morning: We should cut the corporate income tax from 35 to 25, and close loopholes that are in, and make sure that everything is revenue neutral, and that is a great approach."

I do love how McCain makes sure to cover his ass by saying only that they should spend only "part" of their millions. Wouldn't want to get too pushy, now, lest our sensitive rich folks decide to go Galt, and then we'd be sorry, oh yes yes we would! I also love how simply spending part of their millions counts as an actual "sacrifice" that our Galtian overlords should make. Ergo, going to a high-end strip club and making it rain now counts as a sacrifice, according to John McCain. Or when they blow thousands of dollars on a gold-plated trashcan, they're making a vital contribution to deficit reduction.

Lindsey Graham is even funnier:

"Create jobs, hire more people that pay more taxes, grow the economy, stay in America, don't leave, hire people -- that's how millionaires can help, is create more workers, and if you raise taxes you're gonna make it harder to keep the job you got," explained Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC).

If a big-name CEO stepped into Graham's office and said to him, drill sergeant-like, "Graham! Hump my leg on the double, maggot!" you know he'd do it without hesitation.

Graham's jobs plan reminds me a lot of Ohio's attempts at begging LeBron James to shun the beautiful beaches of Miami in favor of the home town that had loved him since draft day:

And, well, we all know how well that worked out.

The point, my friends, is sometimes it seems as though much of our country has internalized "Atlas Shrugged" to such an extent that we've come to believe that it's our fault that our corporate overlords aren't hiring more people. Clearly, the thinking goes, we have not done enough to appease them.

"Another tax cut, m'lord? Oh yes, right away! Those pesky and out-dated child labor laws? You bet, they'll be scrapped tomorrow! You want to... sleep with my spouse? Uh... and you swear you'll consider hiring me to work at the local Taco Bell? Sounds like a fair trade to me!"

At some point I'd like to believe that basic human dignity will kick in and we won't feel the need to kiss rich peoples' asses anymore. But I've been waiting for this to happen for a long, long time now.


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