March 24, 2013

A few nights ago, Bill O’Reilly declared victory in the War on Christmas, only to gird himself for the War on Easter. He and Laura Ingraham lamented the coming of “spring egg hunts” and the banishing of the Easter Bunny as “a new era of persecution that we have never seen in this country before toward traditional faiths.” This morning, Fox & Friends joined the crusade as Professor (and right-wing extremist) Carol Swain sent out a call for the Fox faithful to “stand up against political correctness.”

“I can tell you that if we remove the name “Easter,” then we might as well call them ‘pagan egg hunts,’" Swain said. Predictably, she also saw this as “part of a larger effort across the country” to attack Christianity.

The host for this segment was none other than O’Reilly’s stalker/ambush producer Jesse Watters. The guest-host spot was his reward, apparently, for harassing people like President Obama’s uncle and liberal blogger/journalist Amanda Terkel on camera.

Watters asked, “What effect do you think this has on children growing up? Are they gonna grow older and realize this was all nonsense? Or do you think this is going to stick with them and they’re gonna pass this kind of stuff on to their kids?”

Swain replied:

It all depends on what the Christians in America do. The last survey that I saw, 78% of Americans profess to be Christians. If they are Christians, they should not be participating in pagan egg hunts. If Easter is removed from the egg hunts, then it’s a meaningless pagan holiday. And they need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with their children. And they need to begin to speak up. We, the people, need to speak up and fight for our traditions and values. We need to organize, use social media and boycott.

That's right, America. Boycott any and all "spring egg hunts" because it's the Christian thing to do.

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