April 30, 2013

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Our Ted.

Ted Cruz sometimes gets himself so wound up in the Holy Ghost Tea Party Fever that he starts making up words and having visions. Sister Betty Sue of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club was at Freedoms Works and heard Ted speak.

He was talking about the gun vote in the senate and got himself fired up like a steam locomotive and there simply weren’t words to describe how he felt – well, there probably are, but they had to borrow them all to fill the George Bush Lieberry for the Grand Opening – so he just started making up words.

The Wall Street Journal attacked the group for letting President Obama blame Republicans for blocking gun control instead of moderate Democrats. Cruz said senators made a similar argument: “They said, ‘Listen, before you did this, the politics of it were great. The [Democrats] were the bad guys, the Republicans were the good guys. Now we all look like a bunch of squishes.’”He replied, Cruz told the crowd, “’Well, there is an alternative. You could just not be a bunch of squishes.’”

I do not know what a squish is. If you do, you’re lying.The Urban Dictionary:

squish.jpg

That simply can’t be right. Republicans want us to be romantic with them. They want to do the wild thing with us, but not in the good way, ya know?

I think Ted is telling us in his crazy-dude lingo that he wants to be even more “romantic” with us, but not in the good way. And that’s why I carry an 11-foot pole with me everywhere I go, because, Honey, I would not touch Ted Cruz with a 10-foot one.

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