Americans To Believe Everything Govt. Says...unless It Says "Eat Less"

By John Amato — May 18, 2005

The Protrusion...a satirical newspaper

Sherri Tomlinson and her husband Dan used to trust their government. Now they find themselves in the fight of their lives against what they see as a deceptive campaign waged by the U.S. government and the American medical community to promote false information about the benefits of low-fat diets and tout studies in which new benefits of the diets are discovered. The findings of one such study were announced yesterday, and they include the discovery that a low-fat diet can reduce the risk of a recurrence of breast cancer in women already being treated for the disease.

“They must really think I’m gullible, these guys” Sherri says. “Less fat makes you healthier. Yeah. I suppose they have a bridge to sell me, too. These guys are unbelievable.”

Dan smelled something fishy right away as well. He sits on his couch with food spread out. In his hands, cheese puffs. At his side, soda. In front of him, more of him. “It just doesn’t ring true. It sounds like something else is going on. Something political. I mean, how can dieting prevent cancer? I’ve tried those fad diets. What’s this one called? Low-fat? Yeah, whatever. They’re all a scam. If you don’t do the exercise they recommend, it doesn’t even work. It’s ridiculous. One pepperoni pizza and it’s ‘ruined’ or something. Continue reading...

Fetish America marble composition

What do all of these people have in common?

U.S. Senator equates gay rights to "man on dog" sex.
U.S. Senator equates gay rights to unions of men and box turtles.
Prominent talk show host says gay rights will lead to unions with goats.
Continue reading...

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