"Saturday Night Live," opened their show tonight with Al Gore addressing the nation as if he was the President of the United States. Gore was focused and quite funny in this entertaining spoof of the current administration and their long range of failures. He also struck back at the media (update: when they claimed he said he invented the 'internets') by saying that he invented an "Anti-Hurricane and Tornado Machine."
He touched on immigration, oil, the Middle East, judges and a host of other topics that have divided our country since Bush took office. I did enjoy GWB leading the charge to clean up Baseball's steroid problem: "But I have faith in baseball commissioner George W. Bush when he says, "We will find the steroid users if we have to tap every phone in America!" Do you have a favorite line?
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Transcripts below the fold
(rough transcript by reader Steve)
Announcer: And now, a message from the President of the United States.
President Al Gore: "Good evening, my fellow Americans. In 2000 when you overwhelmingly made the decision to elect me as your 43rd president, I knew the road ahead would be difficult. We have accomplished so much yet challenges lie ahead.
In the last 6 years we have been able to stop global warming. No one could have predicted the negative results of this. Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack. As you know, these renegade glaciers have already captured parts of upper Michigan and northern Maine, but I assure you: we will not let the glaciers win.
Right now, in the 2nd week of May 2006, we are facing perhaps the worst gas crisis in history. We have way too much gasoline. Gas is down to $0.19 a gallon and the oil companies are hurting. I know that I am partly to blame by insisting that cars run on trash.
I am therefore proposing a federal bailout to our oil companies because- hey if it were the other way around, you know the oil companies would help us...read on"