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I Swear To Willie

So, the bright idea was to get Willie to go talk Kinky’s Democratic primary opponent out of running. Everybody was pretty upset by this kind of tactic and Kinky says he knew nothing about it.
I Swear To Willie
Thou shalt not take Willie's name in vain. Image from: Flickr

Texas will put up with a lot from their politicians. Hell, they can cheat, lie, carouse, fornicate, take your money, cuss, demand to see your tampons, put up graven images on the state capitol grounds, shoot law-abiding coyotes, be a drunkard, smoke weed, and even be rude.

But there is one thing they cannot do: use Willie Nelson for cahooting political purposes.

I need to fess up that I am not a large fan of Kinky Friedman as a politician. He’s run as a Republican, an Independent, and now as a Democrat and he can’t get elected dogcatcher or even Junior Alderman at Large in Study Butte, Texas. Mainly because he’s a damfool.

However, like Kinky, I favor the legalization of marijuana. I hate Mexican drug lords, filled prisons, and backed up court systems. It’s an idea long past due. Hell, even the Texas Democratic Party has that in their platform.

So, when Kinky up and decided to run for Agriculture Commissioner in Texas, whoop-te-do. The Ag Commish doesn’t have the power to legalize pot. End of story.

So, we have a guy running for Ag Commish on a platform of ego and publicity who hired another damfool (ever notice how they tend to run in herds?) to be his campaign manager.

This campaign manager had some dog dump dumb ideas.

The Kinky Friedman campaign, looking for a fast lane into the general election, thought offering a primary rival a meeting with Willie Nelson might get them on the road again.The campaign discussed arranging a meeting between Nelson and challenger Jimmie Ray Hogan to entice him out of the Democratic primary for agriculture commissioner, according to emails obtained by The Dallas Morning News. But the plan went up in smoke before the offer could be presented to Hogan.

So, the bright idea was to get Willie to go talk Kinky’s Democratic primary opponent out of running. Everybody was pretty upset by this kind of tactic and Kinky says he knew nothing about it. I believe him. Kinky knows nothing about a whole bunch of stuff.

And, obviously, nobody ran this by Willie because doing this would probably be illegal. Willie does not mind doing illegal stuff as long as it is the right thing to do. Otherwise, count him missing.

We’re sending Thelma over to talk to Kinky. She says she’s read on some of Texas’ finest bathroom walls that he ain’t near as kinky as he claims to be. Thelma would know.

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