October 15, 2014

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart ripped both parties for running on "how much they hate themselves" this midterm election.

Jon Stewart broke down the midterm elections in very stark terms tonight: the Democrats are running far away from Obama, and the Republicans are running away from themselves. Because rather than clear articulation of policy, the obvious solution here is to “wait for your opponent’s dick to slip out of his pants.”

Stewart ripped Kentucky Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes in particular for hedging on whether she voted for Obama or not. She claims she’s exercising her right to not have to share who she voted for, but Stewart pointed out she had no problems publicly boasting about voting for Hillary Clinton in 2008.

And between that and Republicans hedging on social issues all over the place, Stewart concluded the real race here is Democrats and Republicans running on “how much they hate themselves.”

Stewart also did a very nice job completely taking apart Mitch McConnell's debate performance this week and which party we can blame for the government being so unpopular right now.

STEWART: Of course the Republicans have a slight advantage having spent the last six years breaking our government. They now get to run on the anger resulting from said broken government. And nowhere was this cynical ploy more evident than with Senate Minority Leader and shell-bearing reptile Mitch McConnell.

After showing McConnell pretending that he might actually work with President Obama once in a while, Stewart proceeded to explain why what he said is complete bulls**t.

STEWART: Coming from the man who personally stood up at a Republican retreat at the Library of Congress, right before Obama's 2009 inauguration and said "there are enough of us to block the Democratic agenda - as long as they all marched in lockstep. As long as Republicans refused to follow his lead, Americans would see partisan food fights and conclude that Obama had failed to produce change."

Looks like the tortoise wins again.

The only problem with this strategy is sometimes you have to attack something, like Kentucky's Kynect web site, which McConnell can't admit works, since it's got Obama stink on it. But he can't shut it down, because it works.

Stewart showed more of McConnell twisting himself in knots and trying to explain why he would keep the web site, "but get rid of the program the web site connects you to."

Stewart wrapped things up by asking:

STEWART: So, if Democrats can't run on anything they've done the past six years and Republicans can't run on making sure nothing got done over the last six years, what does anyone have left to run on?

It's become painfully obvious over the last few weeks what that is. Fear.

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